A Letter to Postpartum Mommies


Dear New Mommy,

Whether this is your first, second, or fourth child, you’re a new mommy all over again. Each child is different; each experience is different, so each postpartum season is different.

The love you feel is so strong; nothing like you’ve ever felt better. But there is also fear. Fear of not knowing what to do. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of doing something wrong. And then there is the feeling of being overwhelmed. Someone so small needs you every two hours, demanding so much of you, and you want time for yourself. To recover, to heal, to pee.

Your body has changed so much. Give yourself grace and time to heal. It’s not easy seeing this new body — this unfamiliar territory. But think about it — your body created a whole human for ten months. It took energy and nutrition away from your body to create this new human. It made you sick, uncomfortable, and fatigued. And then your body went through this traumatic experience of bringing this baby into the world. Now, it’s time to heal.

Your body needs to heal physically, and you need to heal emotionally. Your emotions are everywhere. You will cry, and you may know why you’re crying, and you may not. You may cry over the silliest thing or something small, but just cry it out. You may feel angry, frustrated, sad, and not know why you’re feeling all of this, but this is normal. Let your doctor know if your sadness becomes more than sadness. You will feel tired. Oh, so very tired. It’s a new level of exhaustion you didn’t know existed. But sleep will come eventually.

You may lose yourself a little bit in the consumption of being a mother, but remember you are more. Don’t forget who you are and what you like. Make sure to make time for yourself. You give and have given so much of yourself, don’t put yourself on the back burner. Take care of yourself because your baby deserves a healthy, happy mommy.

This time in your life is joyous, scary, wonderful, tiresome, loving, and busy all at the same time. But now that you’re here, you cannot see your life any other way because the love you have for your baby is more than anything else in this world.

You are doing great, don’t listen to that voice that says you’re not.

With Love, Heidy

Post Originally Published On Medium.

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A Letter for Those Who Are Grieving.

The pain is real, and the void is deep. The tears will come and go but release them whenever they come. The memories will play in your head; share them. You’ll want to laugh and then cry right after, that’s okay. Pictures and videos are treasures. Their belongings are sentimental. The time spent with them hold it close to your heart. And don’t be afraid to express how you feel.

Our time on Earth is extremely precious because it is so short. The pain and sufferings we go through are all part of the journey of life. Unfortunately, there will be tears, but there are also many joys. There is a lot to be celebrated. Hold your loved ones close and never take for granted a minute of your life. Tell the people you love that you love them and what they mean to you because once they are gone, they cannot hear you.

We don’t know anything about the “afterlife.” We have many theories and beliefs, but no one has come back from the dead to tell us what happens, not even Jesus told us what exactly happens after we pass, just that if we believe we will have eternal life with him. We have this hope we hold on to that we will see our loved ones again. That we will meet them later, don’t lose that hope. Because no matter what happens afterward, it cannot be like the suffering and the pain we experience on Earth.

I know it hurts now, and as time goes on, it will not go “away,” but it will be easier to bear the void and pain because you will learn how to live with it. Because after you experience grief, you are never the same.

With Love, Heidy

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A Letter to My Daughter Part Two

To my lovely daughter,

How time has flown. You are on the verge of turning seven years young, and my goodness, has this came quickly.

You are such an inquisitive child. I cannot give you vague answers. You won’t accept it; you need details and need to understand.

Right now, some questions you ask, I cannot give you too many details because your child mind won’t comprehend, but I promise always to answer you with the truth.

You are smart, and sometimes it surprises me how you can put things together and come up with your own conclusions that make perfect sense.

Watching you grow is such a blessing and knowing that God chose me to be your mother is something I thank Him for every day.

You love to sing, dance, create, draw and talk. Oh my, do you love to talk! My father says I was the same way, and I remember talking quite often when I was little. And you make me laugh all the time. Your facial expressions are priceless, and your comments are witty.

I see you doing great things in your life as you grow because of the way you think. So curious about everything.

I love seeing you love God, I love seeing you talk about God, and I love your kindness. Choose love always. I pray that your soul stays pure, and your heart stays loving.

I promise to model the best example of a God-fearing woman for you. Be the best example I can be, so in your life, you choose to follow Jesus.

Thank you for showing me what unconditional love is and for being the most amazing daughter ever.

Please know that I will be here for you no matter what. I don’t ever want you to fear telling me anything, as long as you’re being honest. I’ve told you many times; I will be angrier if you lie to me about what you did than about what you actually did. I cannot help you if I don’t know the truth.

I promise to speak love and life into you. I promise to encourage you, choose kind and gentle words, and I promise to be your biggest cheerleader.

Please know you are worthy, you are valued, and you are loved. I’ll always remind you that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

I’m looking forward to seeing you grow and see the wonderful person you’ll become.

I’ll be with you every step of the way.

I love you to the moon and back.

Love always,


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Letter to My 17-Year-Old Self

Dear Heidy,

You’re in your last year of high school, and you cannot wait until you graduate. You’re ready to leave the school that you believe is full of so much unnecessary drama, but there is drama everywhere, and you think you’re prepared to leave your house. You feel you’re ready to take on the world because you feel trapped and ready to be on your own. You have a job right now, save up as much as you can because once you get to college, you will struggle a lot. You’re going to be hungry, a lot, you don’t like cooking and eating out gets expensive quickly. All the shoes you buy aren’t going to matter because you end up moving so much that all those shoeboxes become a hassle, and you end up throwing them out anyway, save money!

I know you’re disappointed you didn’t get into Western Michigan University, and you wish that you could go back to freshman year and care about your grades, but its senior year, and you cannot undo time. GRCC isn’t that bad of a school, but right now, you refuse to go there because your heart is so set on going to Kalamazoo, but first try to figure out what you want to study, don’t make decisions based on other people’s lives.

Your self-esteem isn’t at its best, and I know it feels like nothing you do is correct, and you have no purpose, but believe me, once you establish a relationship with Jesus, you will find your purpose. Stop comparing yourself to your friends and stop trying to be someone you’re not. People will love you for who YOU ARE, not who you’re trying to be. Be authentic always; there is nothing better than someone who is their true self, although I know that at this time, you’re trying to figure out who you are. I’ll be honest, it takes you a little bit to figure yourself out, but you do eventually. 😊

Enjoy every second of playing sports, enjoy the practices, and enjoy the games, both the losing and the winning, although it was mostly losing, LOL, but have fun! Try to enjoy the days you have left in high school because after this comes the real world and the real world is hard and filled with mostly struggling.

Be thankful that your father is the way he is with you. He cares about you A LOT and loves you A LOT, and although right now it’s hard to communicate with each other, please know it does get better, and you grow closer. 😊 He is just doing the best he can how he thinks is best. You’ll understand later, but be grateful.

You will go through some tough years, and it’s going to feel like there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel. It will also seem like it all came onto you at once, one thing after another, but find Jesus soon. He helps you through these challenging times and remember you are NOT alone. Don’t let those evil thoughts overpower your light. You are worthy, and you are here for a reason!

Those trails and challenges you will go through will help shape the woman become, and she is beautiful, resilient, loving, caring, understanding, and compassionate. You will find your voice, become more confident in yourself, I promise, and learn to love yourself, although you don’t right now. Continue to have self-respect and remember you are in control of yourself, not others. People will hurt you, but you will learn forgiveness, and your heart will go on. Remember, God is with you ALWAYS!

With Love, Heidy


Me when I was 17 years young!

I asked a few women to give advice to their 17-year-old self and here are their responses.

God defines you, not the world. Learn to seek His Will for your purpose & have the courage to step out in faith… also workplace is just like school, some people don’t grow up, and will spread gossip just the same. – Age 33

You are good enough no matter how others make you feel. – age 26

Guys suck; save all your money, traveling is so much fun, make it work, and also start college as soon as you finish high school and do it fast. – Age 33

The biggest thing I could say would be, “you’re going be ok, God is always in control” – Age 25

Honestly, though, my teenage self was very naïve about the world and thus I feel like she didn’t really need that much advice. She was pretty confident about herself and very optimistic as a person. It wasn’t until I got to college that I started facing some insecurities about the real world such as being the only person of color in a room full of white people or not feeling smart enough or adequate in the professional world. When I was a teenager, everything seemed so easy. Sports were life, friends were so easy to keep up with, and my home life was great. Looking back I think I would tell myself to cherish every single minute as much as I can. And to hold onto those friendships even post-teenage years (something I didn’t do). I think I would tell myself to not forget how good it feels to be a part of a team. And to always, always, always remember how happy those moments made me feel. – Age 29

Don’t get hooked on anybody, enjoy as much as you can, don’t take high school so serious, time flies so fast, and learn to say no, don’t sell yourself short. Enjoy yourself! Don’t take any guy relationship seriously. – Age 27

Don’t be scared to take risks and save more, invest more, take the trip, and be vulnerable it’s OK! – Age Unknown

Be patient! You have so much life left! – Age Unknown


What would you say to your teenage self? Let me know in the comments or let’s connect!

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