When people think about immigration, they often focus on the logistics, such as paperwork, visas, plane tickets, and finding a new home. But one of the most emotional, unspoken challenges many immigrants face is something far more personal and disorienting: culture shock.
As the host of The American Dream in The Eyes of Immigrants Podcast, I ask every guest the same question: “What was the first culture shock you remember experiencing?” This question always opens the door to stories that are raw, vulnerable, and deeply human. The stories remind us that behind every immigration story is not just a journey across borders, but a journey through identity, confusion, and growth. And it’s a very human experience that is very often overlooked.
Let’s talk about what culture shock is—and why it matters.
What is Culture Shock
Culture shock is the sense of confusion, discomfort, or disorientation someone feels when they move to a new environment with unfamiliar cultural norms, behaviors, and expectations. It can feel like you’ve landed on another planet—even if you’ve only moved a few hundred miles.
Culture shock typically has four stages. One of my past guests, Ilonia Phillips, a counselor, partnered with me in this article to discuss the stages of culture shock in more detail.
The four stages:
- Honeymoon
- Frustration
- Adjustment
- Acceptance
Honeymoon Stage
Excitement and fascination with the new culture.
We can look at cross-cultural adjustment and culture shock on a U-curve diagram, typically over a span of 6-12 months.
For many of us, the confirmation of moving abroad is exciting news. For many, it is a dream come true, a vision of new opportunities and growth, a sense of hope, and new beginnings. This phase typically lasts throughout the first few weeks of relocation.
Then, reality starts to set in. Navigating new locations, systems, customs, rules, and routines, as well as people, food, and even the weather, starts taking its toll. This can be stressful, overwhelming, exhausting, and anxiety-provoking, even in the age of AI.
Nothing feels easy or natural. Self-doubt often sets in.
We can find ourselves not loving the food, culture, or people. The weather can be tough. We start missing the familiarity of home, including established relationships, customs, and traditions, and no longer love all the newness and challenges. Even the things we were singing praises to become frustrating.
We seek comfort, trying to get our bearings, coping by numbing and distracting in various ways. This can be through alcohol, video games, staying in bed, and other means.
We are moving through the
Frustration Stage
Differences become frustrating. Homesickness may arise, anger, and being misunderstood.
We are moving through the frustration stage, which deals with challenges, and typically culminates in culture shock around 3-4 months after arrival.
And while the pull may be to isolate, numb, distract or gravitate toward only select people or things, the most effective way through is with patience, time and balancing of the old and the new, staying in touch with the familiar ( i.e. your routines and rituals, contact with people at home) but also exploring the new (people, places and things), staying open to learning and new experiences and connections.
Adjustment Stage
Understanding new culture and developing routines.
Things become more effortless and more automatic with time and practice. The initial excitement and joy return more and more, and we start feeling more grounded in the new, blended experiences.
Acceptance Stage
Feeling more comfortable and integrated into the new culture.
Knowledge is your power. Knowing the stages of cross-cultural adjustment helps us normalize and prepare for our reactions, as well as utilize support and resources where needed.
Keep in mind that most of us also experience reverse culture shock when we return home after being abroad. While you might have changed and grown while away, life at home may not have changed at all. As such, folks at home may not understand or appreciate all you have gone through or your new perspective on things.
Again, being aware of these dynamics can make your return home easier, thanks to realistic expectations and patience throughout the process.
Thank you, Ilonia, for that detailed explanation.
Why This Question Matters
Often, when immigrants experience culture shock, they question themselves about whether they should have known something already or why they don’t. For example, Deb, a guest from India, when she first visited McDonald’s in the US, she didn’t know that a cheeseburger had beef. In her mind, it was just cheese. Plus, the menu at McDonald’s in India is entirely different from the one in the US. She questioned herself whether she should have known something like that before.
The question about culture shocks matters because it gives immigrants a space to share the emotional side of immigration. It humanizes the journey. It reminds listeners, especially those who have never had to adapt to a new country-just how disorienting it can be to suddenly not know how to “be” in a place.
These stories also highlight resilience. Over time, many immigrants find ways to adapt, connect with, and even embrace new aspects of their identity. They blend cultures, learn the rules, and often become bridges between two worlds.
Why Sharing These Stories Is So Important to Me
Sharing about the overall immigrant experience is important to me because these stories are not often shared. Talking about culture shocks that immigrants experience isn’t talked about enough. It’s a real part of the immigration experience, and sharing this will help people understand what immigrants go through once they move to a new country.
Talking about culture shock is more than just a fun anecdote—it’s an invitation to build empathy. When we listen to these moments of vulnerability, we learn what it truly takes to navigate the world as an immigrant. We begin to see that adjusting to a new culture isn’t just about learning a new language or finding a job—it’s about reshaping your identity in real time.
If you’re an immigrant, this reminds you that you’re not alone. And if you’re not, I hope it inspires you to listen more deeply to the stories around you.
Want to Learn More?
Tune into The American Dream in The Eyes of Immigrants Podcast to hear real, powerful stories of people navigating culture shock and so much more. Every episode is a reminder that behind every accent, every pause, every smile—there’s a story worth telling.
With Love, Heidy
Learn more about counselor Ilonia on her website.
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