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Moving in the Middle of Grief

Post author By Heidy De La Cruz
Post date December 5, 2023
No Comments on Moving in the Middle of Grief

In the Middle of Grief, I Moved to the US – Yara’s episode

Hey everyone! Today, I want to tell you one of my guests’ stories because it has hit me hard. I think it’s affected me in the way it has because she was going through so much grief when she moved to the United States. If you’ve been here a while, you know how grief has affected me, so I cannot imagine moving to a new place, let alone a new country while grieving.

My guest’s name is Yara; she is a financial advisor who moved to the US from Brazil when she was just 18 years old and in the middle of grief. Yara moved with her parents after her older sister passed away. Her sister suddenly passed away after she got sick from eating a burger at Burger King.

Yara and I after recording the episode on grief — Yara and I at the podcast studio after recording the episode.

What is The Baby Genius Project

Yara explains in the episode that her sister participated in the Baby Genius Project back in Brazil. The Baby Genius Project is a program where the mom heals all past trauma, gets treatment for any missing vitamins, and eats extremely clean and healthy food to have a genius baby. She didn’t eat any processed foods, sodas, excess sugars, gluten, dairy, etc., for the whole pregnancy.

About four months postpartum, Yara’s sister had a craving for a burger. Her parents and sister went to Burger King, thinking it was okay since she was already four months postpartum and it shouldn’t affect her after eating clean throughout the pregnancy. However, her sister and her dad got sick. Yara’s sister was feeling too sick, and they took her to the hospital.

At the hospital, they thought it was just food poisoning. However, the second time she went to the hospital, they discovered she had a harmful bacteria that was taking over her organs. Forty-eight hours after she ate the burger, she passed away. She had two boys, so her family wanted to fulfill Yara’s sister’s dream of moving to the United States.

Moving in the Middle of Grief

They sold everything and started making plans to move. On the other hand, Yara wasn’t too thrilled about moving. One, she never planned to leave Brazil, but second, she was engaged!

Yara was going to get married early the following year, and she told her family she didn’t want to move, but her dad insisted that she had to go too. Nevertheless, if you know anything about Latino culture, you don’t move out of your parent’s house until you marry. So technically, she was still living with her parents and had to come along too. Her fiancee told her not to be stubborn with her parents and to leave with them, that he would try to find a way to get to the United States.

Yet, that’s not how things went down. He never got approved for a visa to move because there were too many red flags for the United States. Yara explained that he didn’t have a passport and without a passport, one cannot get a visa. He had recently moved to a different state in Brazil to be with Yara, so he didn’t have a job. And to top it all off, he was a dark-skin complexion Brazilian.

Grief for Two Things

So not only was Yara grieving her recently passed sister, but she was also grieving the end of a relationship that was supposed to last for the rest of her life. That is heavy! Can you imagine having to move your whole life right in the middle of grief?

In Conclusion

Luckily, Yara was able to settle in the United States and become a financial advisor. She is now marry and is thriving in her career!

Hearing incredible stories like these makes my job as a podcaster incredibly rewarding. Thank you, Yara, for sharing your story, not only with me but with my audience as well.

This is one of the main reasons people always say to be kind because we don’t know what battles people secretly fight.

With Love, Heidy

Is a personal development newsletter an interest of yours? With a little bit of poetry? A little of opinion pieces? And some faith-based encouragement? Sign up for my Substack newsletter, “Into My Thoughts.”

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Blog Podcast

Did You Know the United States Has No Official Language?

Post author By Heidy De La Cruz
Post date November 9, 2023
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Did you know that the United States has no official language? It’s easy to think that English is the official language. But there is no official language in the Constitution; however, states can declare official languages. Alaska has more than twenty indigenous languages, and Hawai’i has two official languages, Olelo Hawai’i and English.

This conversation about official languages came up in my most recent podcast episode. I had mentioned to my guest that it’s interesting how when Latinos get together, we tend to navigate to speaking in English over Spanish, even if the whole group speaks both languages. She proceeded to say that we’ve moved to a country whose primary language is English, so we need to adapt and speak in English. Which I definitely agree we do need to adapt and speak English, but we also have the right to speak our native language.

I proceeded to inform her that the United States didn’t have an official language. Although the majority of people speak English, about 300 million. So then I started to wonder why is it that the United States doesn’t have an official language.

close up view of a script and language — Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

History of the United States and Language

According to Acutrans.com, since the beginning of our history, there have always been multiple languages spoken here. When the original 13 colonies became the United States, it was colonized by the British; however, they were not the only people in the colonies. There were indigenous people here, and colonists came from France, Spain, and Germany.

John Adams, in 1780, presented a bill to make English the official language, but the bill didn’t pass because it was deemed a threat to individual liberty. Also, as stated, a lot of the colonists spoke multiple languages, so making English the official language wasn’t popular and didn’t seem necessary.
As years passed, people have tried to declare English as the official language of the United States, but the US has gotten more diverse, and today, more than 350 languages are spoken by Americans, with Spanish coming in as the second most-spoken language (spoken in 62% of non-English speaking households, according to visualcapitalist.com.)

The Most Spoken Language in Every U.S. State (Besides English and Spanish)

Visualcapitalist.com released an interesting report about the most spoken language in every state besides English and Spanish. And in 13 states, German is the most spoken language.

State	Most Spoken Language (Besides English and Spanish)
Alaska	Aleut languages
Alabama	German
Arkansas	German
Arizona	Navajo
California	Chinese
Colorado	German
Connecticut	Portuguese
District of Columbia	French
Delaware	Chinese
Florida	Haitian

Table from visualcapitalist.com

I Asked My Followers if They Default to English

As always intrigued by this conversation, I asked my bilingual followers on social media if when they get together with friends who are also bilingual, they default to speaking in English or Spanish. And the majority of them said they default to English or Spanglish. Honestly, this revelation surprised me, but I also understand why this happens.

For me, and I’ve written about this before, it’s my comfort in expressing myself better in English because I attended school here. So, growing up, it was reading, writing, and speaking English whenever I wasn’t home, but at home, I only spoke Spanish. I didn’t know how to read or write it until I was a teenager, and even now, I probably don’t write Spanish grammatically correctly.

However, I would like to change the habit of automatically defaulting to speaking in English, but I would like my kids to speak and understand Spanish. It seems like as the generations grow, the further away we get from our culture.

In Conclusion

We live in a beautiful, diverse country where you can find many of the world’s languages spoken, so if you come across someone who has an accident, please extend grace. English may be their second, third, or even fourth language. Be kind.

With Love, Heidy

P.S. Did you know that it was once illegal to speak a foreign language in public in parts of the U.S.? This article explores 8 instances when foreign languages were considered dangerous in the United States. Check it out!

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Tags Bilingual, Bilingual Parents, Language, United States

Blog Spiritual

What Is Mindfulness & What Are Its Benefits?

Post author By Heidy De La Cruz
Post date November 7, 2023
13 Comments on What Is Mindfulness & What Are Its Benefits?

woman with dog practicing mindfulness — Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

We are always multitasking, especially women. Women can be folding the laundry while watching a television show but still making sure the kids are okay or cooking dinner while listening to a podcast. We are regularly doing more than one thing at the same time. I believe women are the masters of multitasking. But mindfulness is the exact opposite of multitasking.

Mindful.org defines mindfulness as the ability to be fully present in the moment, being aware of where we are and what we are doing, but not overwhelmed by what is happening around us.

At any time during the day, one can practice mindfulness, which can have many benefits.

The Benefits

Professor Jon Kabat-Zinn brought mindfulness into mainstream medicine. According to Helpguide.org, he was the founder and former director of the Stress Reduction Clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center. He showed that practicing mindfulness brings improvement in both physical and psychological symptoms. It also provides a positive change in attitudes, behavior, and health.

Scientifically, experts view mindfulness as a critical element in reducing stress and enhancing overall happiness.

Mindfulness improves mental health.

Psychotherapists have used mindfulness meditation as a treatment for many problems like substance abuse, depression, eating disorders, anxiety disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder, to name a few.

Mindfulness improves well-being

Because mindfulness focuses on the present, using this practice can help people not be so worried about the future or think about past regrets. Mindfulness makes it easier to be fully present in current activities and make them more pleasurable or enjoyable. Also, it helps with a positive attitude that contributes to the satisfaction of life.

Mindfulness improves physical health.

It can help reduce stress, lower blood pressure, improve sleep, treat heart disease, and reduce chronic pain.

How can you practice mindfulness?

There are many ways to practice mindfulness; the primary goal of any mindfulness technique is to focus on the present, be alert, and focus on relaxation. Being present, there in the moment, not worrying about anything else but being present in the moment.

Meditation is the most common way to practice.

Start with sitting straight back on a chair or with your legs crossed on the floor.
Focus on your breathing.
Once you have concentrated on your breathing, become aware of sounds and your ideas.
Embrace your thoughts without judging good or bad, and if your mind starts to race, go back and concentrate on your breathing.

Can mindfulness have a Christian approach?

Absolutely! FocusOnTheFamily.com mentions how Christians and faith-based counselors use mindfulness as a therapy tool, Christ-integrated, by making mindfulness rooted in scripture and focus on connecting with God during the technique.

Psalm 104:34, “May my meditation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the Lord.” (NIV)

Prayer is a practical way that Christians apply mindfulness to their daily lives because when people pray or worship, they are concentrating on God; their focus is connecting with God and drawing God’s presence near.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 “pray continually.” (NIV)

Some can be fearful because they find that mindfulness is self-centered or self-focus, but as a Christian, making it God-centered or God-focused shouldn’t be a problem. It is setting time apart to just be present in the moment, in that precious moment with God. It’s very comforting and brings so much peace.

In conclusion

Mindfulness has many benefits to our overall health. It is a technique that should be practiced because it can improve our focus. When done correctly, it can help bring us closer to God.

Set some time apart during the day, maybe in the morning before you start your day, or at night before bed to whine down and practice mindfulness for about five minutes, few times a week and see if you can notice a difference.

Let me know what difference it makes!

With Love, Heidy

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Tags Blogging, Christianity, Lifestyle, Mindfulness, Well-ness

Blog Spiritual

Let Yourself Cry (Guest Post)

Post author By Heidy De La Cruz
Post date November 2, 2023
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regretful black woman crying on floor — Photo by Alex Green on Pexels.com

Hey everyone, today I am bringing you a guest post! I know it’s been a while since I’ve had a guest write on my blog, and it’s because I stopped blogging back in February to focus on my Substack newsletter, but in August, I started blogging again. Now, I have the opportunity to bring you an amazing writer and a sneak peek of a new book releasing later this month.

Today’s post is by the talented Dorina Gilmore-Young. She and I connected in the Entrusted Women’s Facebook Group, and I’ve followed her writing journey for years now. Dorina’s new book is about grief, and if you’ve been here a while, I’ve written multiple times about grief. And will continue to do so because I believe once you’ve experienced grief, it’s a lifelong journey.

My hope is that this sneak peek of the book brings encouragement to whoever may be grieving. They feel compelled to purchase the book and that it can be a resource to help with the heaviness of grief.

Alright, I’m done now; here is Dorina.

Let Yourself Cry

One of my earliest memories of grief was attending my Grandpa John’s funeral. He died of a heart attack on the golf course. I was close with my grandpa. As a fourth grader, it was difficult to process that he was with us one day and gone the next. I vividly remember my grandma wailing over his casket at the funeral. She was an elegant, measured woman—always meticulously dressed and prepared with a full Italian meal in the refrigerator that she could easily retrieve and warm up for guests. I was surprised that day—and somewhat alarmed—to see her clinging to the casket and weeping so loudly. My uncles, her sons, tried to pry her away. They tried to calm and quiet her. But we all felt the weight of her emotion. She was now widowed twice.

It was not until years later that my mom explained to me that wailing over the casket was a custom in “the old country” of Italy. This was an expression of love. My grandma was not out of control, as some might think in more American settings where crying is subdued or suppressed at funerals. She wailed to acknowledge her deep sorrow and her deep love for my grandpa.

I look back now and see that day differently than the way I initially experienced it. Her tears were not cause for concern, but rather, a beautiful symbol of her grief. We don’t need to be ashamed of our tears.

You may also like: God is Present In The Heavy Seasons

God Sees Our Tears

Psalm 42 was written as a song that expresses a thirst and longing to be in God’s presence in times of grief. The psalmist writes, “My tears have been my food day and night” (Psalm 42:3, ESV). I understand the psalmist’s sentiment here. After my husband’s death, I cried for a hundred days straight. The tears would not stop. When I stood in the kitchen, I cried. While driving my kids to school, I cried. I went to church and sat in the back row and cried. I cried into my pillow at night. Tears pooled in my eyes as I wrote in my journal at dawn.

I turned to the Bible for spiritual oxygen to fill my lungs so I could make it through each day. The words in Psalm 77:1–2 gave voice to my situation: “I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me. I sought the Lord in my day of trouble” (CSB).

Psalm 56:8 also helped me feel seen by God: “You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book” (MSG).

He sees our tears and records our losses.

Jesus Wept Too

My favorite example of grief in the Bible is when Jesus took time to weep with Mary and Martha over the death of their brother Lazarus. John 11:33 says, “When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled” (ESV).

We learn in verse 35 that Jesus actually wept. Jesus knew that later He would raise Lazarus from the dead, but He still takes time to cry with His friends. He knew they needed Him. He entered their pain, and through His presence offered comfort.

Friend, He weeps with you today. The healing often begins with releasing our soul-tears. We can trust the words in Psalm 147:3: “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds” (NLT).

*This post is an excerpt from Breathing Through Grief (releasing Nov. 14, 2023)

Pre-order here: https://amzn.to/45Uhkv7

Details here: https://dorinagilmore.com/breathingthroughgrief/

Prayer For Those Who Grieve

Thank you, Dorina, for sharing your heart with those who grieve. Thank you for sharing your experience and providing resources for those in a heavy season.

Prayer: Lord, I pray for everyone who is grieving. I pray that they feel your presence near and they know that they are not alone. I pray that you will comfort them and that they know you are there to catch their years. Let them cry to you, Lord. Let your love fill their hearts during this season. I pray that those who will need these words find them. Thank you, Lord, for being with us always. In your name, I pray, Amen.

With Love, Heidy

P.S. If you would like to write a guest post for my blog, send me an email at heidy@heidydelacruz.com. I’d love to host you!

Dorina’s Bio:

Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young grew up in a multiracial family and is a sought-after speaker, former newspaper reporter, teacher, and the award-winning author of numerous books, including three releasing in 2023: Chasing God’s Glory (Waterbrook Multnomah/PRH), Create in Me a Heart of Mercy (Revell), and Breathing Through Grief (Ink & Willow). Dorina leads as the president of the Redbud Writers Guild and the director of Lead Loved, equipping Christian women leaders. She writes for (in)courage by Dayspring and Proverbs 31 Ministries. Dorina chases after God’s glory as a remarried widow with her husband Shawn and three courageous daughters in Central California. Find her at www.DorinaGilmore.com

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Spiritual

Immigrants Are Made in the Image of God Too

Post author By Heidy De La Cruz
Post date October 31, 2023
No Comments on Immigrants Are Made in the Image of God Too

statue of liberty the symbol for immigrants — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Immigration is not a new concept. Since the beginning of time, people have migrated (moved within the same region or country) or immigrated (moved to a new country). However, since 2016, it seems like immigration has become a controversial hot topic. Although it is political or has become political in the last few decades because of policies, I believe we should view immigration with a Biblical lens and view immigrants as image bearers, too, because they are made in the image of God too.

I believe this because the Bible mentions the vulnerable all throughout. It talks about how we should treat them, and God has a soft spot for them. And who are the vulnerable, you may ask? They are the widows, orphans, foreigners (immigrants), and the poor.

In the very beginning, the Bible starts by telling us that God made humans in His image.

Genesis 1:27 (NIV) says, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
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This includes all of our brothers and sisters who have immigrated to the United States and the future immigrants to come. We need to keep this verse at the forefront of our minds when we are talking about immigrants.

What Else Does The Bible Say About Immigrants?

There are many verses that talk about the vulnerable, but I’ll only name a few.

Deuteronomy 10:19 (NIV) And you are to love those who are foreigners, for you yourselves were foreigners in Egypt.”
Deuteronomy 27:19 (NIV) “Cursed is anyone who withholds justice from the foreigner, the fatherless, or the widow.” Then all the people shall say, “Amen!”
Leviticus 19:34 (NIV) The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the Lord your God.”
Psalms 146:9 (NIV) The Lord watches over the foreigner and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.
Zechariah 7:8-10 (NIV) And the word of the Lord came again to Zechariah: “This is what the Lord Almighty said: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another. Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the foreigner or the poor. Do not plot evil against each other.’
Matthew 25:40 (NIV) “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

The last verse is a reminder that how we treat others is how we treat Jesus himself.

Why It’s Important to Hear Immigrant Stories

The podcast The American Dream In The Eyes of Immigrants, shares stories about immigrants who moved to the United States. Immigrants talk about their journey coming to the United States, the cultural shocks they experienced, and how they adapted to living here.

Some stories are good, and some stories are traumatic because everyone has a different reason for coming, but all have the same intention: to better their lives and the lives of their families. And it’s important to hear these stories because we need to understand our brothers and sisters better. We need to have more compassion towards them and empathy. And the best way to do this is by listening to their stories.

The journey to come isn’t easy. The decision to leave or move from their home country isn’t a decision that is taken lightly. People don’t want to leave their home country. They don’t want to leave their culture, food, language, and sometimes families. They don’t want to start all over in a foreign land. This is all out of necessity. This decision is one that is thought about and pondered on for months and even years and often times prayed about.

In Conclusion

It breaks my heart how negatively the media talks about God’s children who immigrate here, which is one of the reasons why I started the podcast. Immigrant’s stories matter, and everyone should listen to them. To understand, to empathize, to be grateful that they or their family didn’t have to leave their land to make a better life for themselves. What if your family had to leave the United States? Wouldn’t you want people to listen to your story?

One last question to think about what if God called them here?

With Love, Heidy

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Tags Christinaity, Immigration, Immigration Advocates, Love one another, Made in the image of God

Spiritual

Glory Conference Recap

Glory Conference

At the beginning of this month, I had the privilege of going to Lifeway’s Glory Conference hosted by Jackie Hill Perry. I first heard about Jackie at the Lifeway Women’s Live Conference in 2019 and I instantly was drawn by how she spoke and preached. Since then I’ve followed her on Instagram, I’ve read both of her books, and she’s a poet just like me, so I definitely identified with her in that aspect.

When I saw that she had her own conference I was interested and searched to see if the conference would be hosted near where I live. There was one in Jacksonville, Florida but I thought to myself, “I don’t know anyone there and I’ve never been.” However, I saw that Glory was going to be hosted in my hometown, Grand Rapids, Michigan – so I set the plan to attend.

The conference was on Friday night and Saturday morning. I arrived in Grand Rapids on Thursday afternoon and I got to spend time with my best friend. And on Friday morning, I got ready, wrote two articles, and spent more time with my best friend. We went to the outlet mall, I got a new purse, we ate good Mexican food (if you’re ever in Grand Rapids, you need to eat Mexican food), and we got pedicures!

Friday Night

Then it was time to go to the conference. Before arriving I realized that I was going to this conference alone for the first day, my friend from Florida was arriving the following day, but it was a big deal for me because I struggle with doing activities alone.

Friday night was great, the conference started with worship being led by Jordan Welch. And we heard a virtual message from Yana (I don’t think I wrote the name down correctly), and she told us how Jesus loves women and He cares for women. She asked, how can he not when he was born of a woman? She also said, “P.S. the future is not female. It’s male and female walking side by side working together for the glory of God.” I liked that message because as always with any movement there are extremists and we need both males and females to move things forward.

The overall theme of the conference was Jesus and Women and Jackie preached from Genesis 16 – the story of Hagar. The overall message was that Sarai got herself into a mess because she was impatient, took matters into her own hands, and didn’t wait for God. Jackie said that misplaced hope gets you into messes. Don’t get yourself into a mess, wait for the Lord.

Saturday Morning

Saturday there was worship again to start and then Q&A with Jackie and Dr. Sarita T. Lyons. Jackie asked Dr. Lyons questions about her ministry, and her background, and one of the things that stood out to me from one of her answers was, she said, “You cannot depend on people valuing you when your value comes from the Lord.”

How many times do we wait for people to see our worth and wait for people’s recognition when we should only be caring about the value that God places on us? Too many times. They also opened up the floor for the audience to ask questions and the majority of them were about parenting. The biggest takeaway was that we cannot parent out of fear!

After this, we heard another virtual message from Sarah (again, didn’t write down the last name) and her message was three distinctions for women.

The creation of women.

We were created to bring strength.

The biological make-up of women.

We can bring life into this world. Although, not every woman is called to motherhood.

Her position in society.

As a woman, we need to study Jesus. Women were created to sit at the feet of Jesus.
Sarah told us to use everything that makes you a woman for your ministry.

Jackie’s Message at Glory

On Saturday Jackie preached from John 4 – when Jesus talks to the Samaritan Woman at the well. She gave us six observations of Jesus at the well to use in our ministries.

Lead with your humanity.

Jesus said He was thirsty, that showed his humanity. Jackie told us that in our ministries we need to understand we are not God. We have limits and needs. And our insecurities remind us that we are human. Do not act like your life is perfect, Jesus helps you overcome.

Be curious about cultural context.

The Samaritan women’s culture shaped how she saw Jesus.
Jackie reminded us to always ask questions.

Address their spiritual condition.

Everyone has a theological context.
Sin produces ignorance and idolatry.
Romans 1
People are thirsty for identity and authority but help people see that the thirst they have is for the water that Jesus provides.

Use what’s revealed to reveal God.

Jesus told the woman to go call her husband and the woman responded that she had no husband, Jesus said, you are right, you’ve had five. He was revealing who He was.
Most of your work in ministry will revolve around details of sin and exposure. However, show how God helped you overcome.

Practice true worship.

God is seeking worshipers.
If your practice if Jesus isn’t Lord, it isn’t true worship.
Worship is daily.
Believe in Jesus!

Keep it simple.

Use the simple things that glorify God.
Pray!
You don’t need a huge platform or following because you need to be okay giving God glory when you are invisible.
Point every woman to Jesus!

A conference about God, not you!

Wrapping Up

At the end of this conference, I felt so refreshed and ready to seek God deeper. I want to know God more and I didn’t even think this was possible. However, I’ve come to the realization that learning about God, seeking God, and knowing Him deeper is a lifelong journey.

Prayer: Lord, I pray for everyone reading this recap of the conference that they will seek You God and they will get to know You. Our ministry isn’t about us, it’s about You, it’s about bringing you glory. It’s about Jesus! Thank you, God, for your ultimate sacrifice, for your Son, for your love, and for your mercy. I live for you and only you, to glorify your name always. Thank you for everything! And in your name, I pray always, Amen!

With Love, Heidy

Romans 3:23 NIV – for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

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Tags Christian Women Ministries, Christianity, Glory Conference, Women's Conference

Blog

5 Ways Journaling Has Helped Me

Post author By Heidy De La Cruz
Post date September 21, 2023
4 Comments on 5 Ways Journaling Has Helped Me

closeup photo of journal book and pencils — Photo by Jess Bailey Designs on Pexels.com

Around my birthday last year, I came across the article, How To Declutter Your Mind: 10 Practical Tips You’ll Actually Want To Try on Forbes.com. It mentioned how keeping a journal is a great way to relax your mind. The author explained how, according to research published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General writing could improve memory, help with anxiety, and cope with depression. I was sold. I told myself I would buy a notebook that weekend.

The very next day was my birthday dinner. I had invited a few of my friends and come to find out one of my friends gifted me two notebooks! (Look at God!) One was for poetry; it gave you poetry prompts. The other one was a regular notebook/journal small enough to carry in my purse. Now, that I’ve been using that notebook for literally everything, I don’t know how I survived life without it. LOL Here are the five ways journaling has helped me.

1. Organize My Life

In the journal, I write my ‘To Do’ lists, so I don’t forget any tasks to complete. I also write down my budget for the month. I’ve seen a difference in writing these things down, especially my ‘To Do’ lists because I don’t start a task and then halfway through it remember another task, stop and start that other task, leaving the last task half done. I can also focus on one thing at a time instead of multitasking and not completing them at my best. When it comes to writing down my budget, it keeps me on track on how much money I am spending, I am going to spend, and I won’t spend unnecessarily.

2. Organize My Thoughts

Since I take my journal with me everywhere I go, when I have a random thought or the urge to write I do. This way, I can get my thoughts all out on paper and then organize them later. Writing down my thoughts has helped me with my memory; I am not as forgetful as I used to be. I’ve noticed that it has helped me stay organized, on track, and de-clutter my mind, like the article says. And whenever I get an idea for a poem, I have my journal ready to write.

3. Reach Goals

There is another article on Huffpost.com called The Power of Writing Down Your Goals and Dreams. It talks about how Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at the Dominican University in California, studied the art and science of goal setting. She had gathered 267 people from all different professions and divided them into groups by those who wrote down their goals and those who didn’t. She found out that those who wrote down their goals on a regular achieved them at a significantly higher level, 42% more likely.
I write my goals, and every certain amount of time, I go back and check on my progress. Writing keeps me on track with what I need to do, or I can change my goals if need to be. Since starting this, I can say I’ve reached the majority of my goals and only have had to change a few.

4. Grow Closer to God

After about two months from receiving my journal, I started writing down my prayers in the morning before starting work. I absolutely love doing this! Gets my mind ready for the day while also giving me a sense of gratitude. I find that with writing down my prayers, I can get right to the point and not feel like I’m rambling on like I would if I were speaking them out. I still pray throughout the day and at night before bed, but there is something about writing them down in the morning that gives me complete satisfaction.

5. Reflect

Since I write everything down, I can go back and reflect. I can see what goals I had, and if I reached them, look at my accomplishments, go through the journey it took me to get there, and evaluate how I was feeling. It’s important to reflect and take time to see what you’ve overcome, the obstacles you’ve faced, and see your growth. This also helps for memory because as time goes on and new memories are created, old memories tend to fade, but if you have certain things written down, it can be a beautiful reminder of all you’ve overcome.

Wrapping Up

Overall journaling has helped me in many areas of my life, and I wish I would have kept my old ‘dairies’ from when I was younger LOL to look back on, but I have my journal from now to reflect on when I’m older. I’m glad I came across the article last year, started journaling, and now I’m able to share how it has helped me. If you do start journaling or already do, I would love to hear how it has impacted or helped you.

With Love, Heidy

P.S. I’ve created a few journals – you can check them out here.

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Tags Journal, life journey, Lifestyle, Organizing, Self-help, Writing

Blog

The Words We Choose Matter – Let’s Choose Positive Words

Post author By Heidy De La Cruz
Post date September 14, 2023
5 Comments on The Words We Choose Matter – Let’s Choose Positive Words

colorful sticky notes with positive words — Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Do You Have Positive Words in Your Vocabulary?

We all know the saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” or something along those lines, but the truth is, words do hurt. We have to be VERY selective with our words. The words we use are more of a reflection of our character than what they are of the person who we are talking to or about.

Words are powerful, and what we say can and usually does come true. If we speak negatively, we are going to attract negative things, but if we speak positively, than we will attract positive things. So, why not use more positive words? Not just to attract positive things but be favorable to ourselves and others.

How Do You Speak to Your Children?

Think about children and how we speak to them, if we tell a child they are stupid, they are going to believe they are stupid, but if we tell them they are smart, they will believe it. We should be speaking life into our children, into ourselves, and onto others as well.

Sometimes we speak out of anger and say things we don’t mean. However, being able to pause, take a few deep breaths, count to 10, and just think about what we are about to say before we say something we’ll regret later, will be beneficial in the long run.

We don’t want to say things because of our emotions at the time, we want to say things we actually believe, which again, why we should be selective with our words.

You might like: The Importance of Saying Encouraging Words to Your Children

What Does the Bible Say About Positive Words?

The Bible mentions the power of words and how we should watch how we talk, in Proverbs 18:21 (NIV), “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Death and life are in the power of the tongue…..WOW! That is powerful, you have the power to give life to someone or death, solely with your words. Think about that for a moment.

Everyone is going through different challenges, and we don’t know if the words we speak to them will help them or make them feel worse. If it’s encouraging words, then yes, this will help them, but if we start talking negatively to them, then this will make them believe that the negative thoughts they have are right.

Another verse in the Bible that talks about the words we use are Ephesians 4:29 (NIV), “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

In other words, LET’S BUILD EACH OTHER UP! Be positive! Encourage each other! Empower each other and help each other. Simple words like, “You got this!” “You can do this!” “You are capable!” “I believe in you!” Those are simple words that can mean the world to someone and could be the little push they need to get over whatever issue they may be going through.

Verbal Abuse Is Real

Did you know that verbal abuse is real? Psychology Today talks about recognizing verbal abuse and how to stop it; it starts with us, with ourselves. In the article, they reference the book Teen Torment: Overcoming Verbal Abuse at Home and School, and the author Patricia Evans, says, “words can be as damaging to the mind as physical blows are to the body, the scars from verbal assaults can last for years,” Let’s not scar others for life with our words.

I grew up always hearing things, “you don’t do anything right,” or “is there anything you can do?” or “you never use your head to think.” And hearing these comments repeatedly for years broke down my self-esteem. I felt worthless at one point and truly felt like I couldn’t do anything right. It made me feel like a disappointment, but I promised myself to break that cycle. It took years to be able to work on my self-esteem and feel confident in myself. Nevertheless, I was able to overcome it.

Positive Words Only

I want to challenge you. If you are a person who usually thinks negatively or speaks negatively, I challenge you for a week to try to catch yourself when you’re thinking or saying something negative and see if you can change that into something positive. Write down what your thoughts were and how you turned it into something positive and look back at your notes after a week. Then answer yourself this, how did you feel? Did you see a pattern? Where do you think these negative thoughts are coming from?

Let me know how it goes for you, either in the comments or private message. Let’s work together in changing our word selections and being more positive

With Love, Heidy

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Tags Blogging, Challenge, Empowerment, Encouragement, Postivity, Psychology

Blog

You Are Where You Are Because of You

Post author By Heidy De La Cruz
Post date August 24, 2023
2 Comments on You Are Where You Are Because of You

cozy table with laptop, notebook, and coffee cup in park. — Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

Believe it or not, where you are is because of you. Think about this: where were you five years ago? Where are you today? Did you think you would be where you are today five years ago? Where do you want to be five years from now?

Now, think about the journey you took from five years ago until today. Are you happy with your choices? If you could go back would you change anything?

Wherever you are today, you are there because of you.

My Journey

I didn’t think I would be where I am today because the journey I’ve taken in my life. I feel that life took me through so many ups and downs and I would never see the light at the end of the tunnel.

For years I didn’t know what I wanted to do careers wise. My first blog post is about picking careers (Career Paths) and how one can even decide with how many choices there are. But I am where I am today because it’s right where I’m supposed to be. But this isn’t my final destination.

And you are right where you’re supposed to be, but this isn’t your final destination neither. However, your choices with the options you had at the time led you to where you are today.

You Are Where You’re Supposed to Be

All of our choices and decisions have consequences, whether good or bad, so everything that happens to us is because of our choices, believe it or not. Life experiences are lessons and they shape us into who we are but we are where we are because of the choices we made.

Those choices and consequences led you here today. But like I said before, it’s not your final destination. So where do you want to go?

Are you where you’d like to be? If not, what can you change today that will help get you to where you’d like to be?

Where Do You Want to Go

Think about where you are and where you want to be. Make the changes you need to make today to get to where you want to go. Even if where you want to be takes five years – the time is going to pass anyways, might as well put in the work. So then five years from now you can look back and not regret where you are, instead you say, I’m right where I want to be!

With Love, Heidy

Are you interested in a little bit of a personal development newsletter? With a little bit of poetry? A little of opinion pieces? And some faith-based encouragement? Sign up for my Substack newsletter, “Into My Thoughts.”

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Tags Blogging, Mindfulness, open-minded, Postivity, Relationships