Mommy Issues

Sitting here drinking my third glass of wine – while thinking maybe I am more like my mother.

Drinking away my sorrows, pain and regrets.

Instead of facing my demons head-on.

I’ve always stride myself to not be like her.

But they say, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” right?

It’s like you were my example of what not to be.

I understand your mental issues NOW – but now it’s too late, you’re gone.

As a child you don’t understand. You don’t comprehend why your mother drinks for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

By the time the moon is out she can barely walk.

She’s yelling and breaking things – cutting herself and slurring her words.

What? What are you saying? You don’t make sense?

So, what do you do?

You start to cry and hope that tomorrow is a better day – but it’s a repeat of yesterday and the day before.

Many have daddy issues. I have mommy issues.

The bible tells us to honor our father and mother.

But how do you honor the person who’s supposed to make you feel safe but instead causes so much pain and anxiety?

It’s conflicting!

No matter what – I love you.

You did the best you could drowning your demons in alcohol. Although, they swam up to the surface at night.

It was too much too bare for little me, for the both of us.

Which is why I swore to never be like you.

I told myself I would never drink.

Alcohol steals the joy.

It steals the good memories.

It robs you of feeling safe and secure – it makes you scared and unsure.

Alcohol is the enemy – it turned you into a monster.

But here I am drowning in that monster.

Am I more like you and less like me?

Many have daddy issues. I have mommy issues.

P.S. Happy what would have been your 47th birthday. I love you.

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Blog Book Review

Two Book Reviews: A Promised Land & The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*%k.

It’s time for another book review. I realized that I only did two book reviews last year, but I was reading the same book the whole year, Barack Obama’s memoir A Promised Land.

To be honest, I stopped reading it for a while because I got so sick with my pregnancy, so it took me over a year to finish this book. It’s also a long book, 768-page count, and there are a ton of words for pages. If you’ve ever heard Barak Obama talk, you know he likes to talk. LOL

I enjoyed reading this book and learning insights into his presidency. There were a few things I didn’t care about because of the politics of it, but overall, it was good. Here is my take on A Promised Land.

He started by giving a little background of his upbringing, like his time in college and law school, when he and Michelle met, his time spent working in public relations, and finally, as State Senator.

I found it interesting how he campaigned for his presidency—traveling with Michelle, their two girls, and his team. It all sounded extremely exhausting. He went from state to state, town to town, talking to so many different people. Exhausting!

While campaigning, he quickly realized how careful he needed to be with his words. And even during his presidency, words were always being misinterpreted. (It still goes on today).

We know that he ended up winning in 2008, and he first talks about the mess of an economy he inherited from the previous administration. Then talks about international affairs, the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the struggle his administration went through to get his Healthcare bill passed.

Towards the end of the book, he gives details of finding Osama Bin Laden, and they were fascinating, to say the least. As he explained the team he put together and the operation needed to find, capture, and then kill Bin Laden, it all sounded like a movie.

I was in high school when he was elected president, and I didn’t follow politics or the news like I do now, so I had not realized certain events he spoke about happened during his administration. I’m looking forward to reading part two of this book.

First time listening to an audible book, and a self-help book at that, it was Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*%k. Never had I heard the word f*%k so much in my life. LOL, but the book was humorous and kept me engaged.

Here is my takeaway from this book.

“If we are unwilling to fail, we are unwilling to succeed” – this quote stood out to me.

He tells us that we all care about things, but it’s often things that we shouldn’t care about or care too much about. We have to prioritize what we care about, what is truly important.

He brought up a good point in chapter 8. In western culture, people try so much to be liked and accepted that people sometimes try to change who they are depending on who they are with.

 Because of the pressure to be likable, people often reconfigure their entire personalities depending on who they are with.

I can relate to that, especially in my teenage years. I always wanted to be liked and never have issues with anyone that I would change depending on who I was with. I think it also stemmed from trying to find myself at that time.

The book ended with talking about death (I don’t want to give away too much), but it really got me thinking, what is your relationship with the word death? What do you think about when the word comes up? Do you get anxious thinking about when you’re going to die?

I sometimes do because we all have a fear of the unknown. Even as a believer, I still feel anxious because even though the Bible tells us that if you believe in Jesus, you’ll be saved and be with Him once you pass but we still don’t know exactly where that is.

I would recommend this book, and it’s opened the world of self-help books for me because I’m reading another self-help book, which was gifted to me last year.

Have you read any self-help books? If so, which ones?

With Love,


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Word for 2022!


It’s 2022! Can you believe it? It feels like the older I get, the faster time goes.

I hope everyone reading this brought in the New Year with their special loved ones and/or family! 🙂

Last year my word of the year was Intentional. I explained how I wanted to be intentional with the time I spent with God, reading the word, praying, etc. And this year, I prayed, and the word that kept coming up was Growth!

Here are the areas I want to focus on growing within 2022.


I have worked in the Revenue Cycle for about eight years now, and I’ve had many positions throughout my career. Like primary care biller, home infusion biller, office manager, collection specialist, and team lead for collections team. Back in 2020, I achieved my professional coding certificate through AAPC. I want to work as a medical coder in the hospital I currently work at, and this year I’m hoping to achieve this. After having a few years of coding experience under my belt, I would like to be a professor and teach medical billing and coding, but that is a long-term goal.


Now that my son is here, I have to adjust to being a mother of two. This year I want to focus on growing into a better mother for both my kids. We always have room to grow because we constantly make mistakes; it’s part of the journey. Motherhood is not easy, but it’s so rewarding that it’s worth all the trouble.


I truly enjoy blogging, and I’ve read plenty of articles/stories about how people make money from their writing. This year, I would like to bring in an income from my writing/blog. I’ve researched becoming a freelance writer, and I have an online writing portfolio. So, the next step would be to reach out to potential clients, brands, and small businesses to write for them. I did a little freelance work back in 2020 on Upwork, but I wasn’t consistent with it. This year, it’s time to change that. I am also looking to connect with local writers in my area and collaborate with more bloggers.


I will always strive to be a better wife, believer, mother, and all-around person. To do this, I invest in myself by attending conferences, reading, networking, and learning from my mistakes.

This year I will continue to be intentional with my time with God.

I will continue to learn in the areas I want to grow in. And I will continue to ask God to guide me in being the best wife and mother I can be. I will invest more in my physical health because this helps all other areas of my life.

Do you have a word for this year? If so, share it with me! I love connecting with my followers and subscribers. 🙂

With Love,


Let’s Connect!

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You can get one or both of my journals on Amazon! Links are below! 🙂
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