Rooya was born in Afghanistan and remembers they had electricity at one point, and then they didn’t. During the time that communism was taking over, she remembers if people were caught fleeing or speaking out against communism, they were executed.
She shares their journey, going across the desert for three days and four nights to get to Pakistan at age six. Rooya and her family lived in Pakistan for three years before making it to the US. Once in the US, she had to learn to write, read, and speak English. This was a challenge for her because she was proud of being a good student, but then, at nine, she had to start all over again. Rooya shares how she became the heart coach.
Escaping Afghanistan: A Walk Across the Desert
Rooya’s story begins in Afghanistan, a country she deeply loved but had to leave due to the dangers of war. She shares that growing up, she lived through periods of electricity and then darkness, a reflection of the instability surrounding her family. When it became too dangerous to stay, her father made the difficult decision to flee.
Their journey was dangerous. They walked across the desert to Pakistan for three days and three nights, often in fear for their lives. Rooya recalls the trauma of that journey, including waking up in a cemetery and encountering women who had been separated from their families by smugglers. And her father being honorable and protecting them. Yet, despite the fear and uncertainty, she refers to this experience as her “path of honor.”
Making It to the US and Adjusting to New Life
The family’s journey eventually brought them to the United States, landing in Virginia during the Christmas season. Rooya remembers her first sight of America: the dazzling holiday lights that covered the trees and streets, a sight she had never seen before.
Her excitement was soon met with challenges. She struggled with learning English, often feeling like she wasn’t “American enough.” This feeling of never quite belonging persisted even as she connected with Afghan communities in California, where she later moved. Unfortunately, this feeling is far too common with immigrants and children of immigrants.
However, she continued to wrestle with feelings of unworthiness—not being Afghan enough, not being American enough, and later, not even feeling like she was enough as a person.
These struggles came to a head when she became a mother. Juggling the responsibilities of raising three children while battling self-doubt and exhaustion, she found herself in a deep depression. But instead of giving into despair, Rooya embarked on a journey of self-discovery and healing.
Becoming The Heart Coach
Through her struggles, Roya found her calling—helping others overcome their own battles with unworthiness. Today, she is a life coach and storyteller, using tools such as non-defensive communication and qigong, a Chinese system of physical exercises and breathing techniques related to tai chi, to help women reclaim their power.
She calls herself The Heart Coach, inspired by a line from the Quran: “It is not the eyes that are blind, but the hearts which are in their breast.” Her mission is to awaken the hearts of those who have been weighed down by shame, self-doubt, and societal expectations.
Listen to The Heart Coach Now
With Love, Heidy
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