Tag: Postivity

Categories
Blog

The Words We Choose Matter – Let’s Choose Positive Words

colorful sticky notes with positive words
Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Do You Have Positive Words in Your Vocabulary?

We all know the saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” or something along those lines, but the truth is, words do hurt. We have to be VERY selective with our words. The words we use are more of a reflection of our character than what they are of the person who we are talking to or about.

Words are powerful, and what we say can and usually does come true. If we speak negatively, we are going to attract negative things, but if we speak positively, than we will attract positive things. So, why not use more positive words? Not just to attract positive things but be favorable to ourselves and others.

How Do You Speak to Your Children?

Think about children and how we speak to them, if we tell a child they are stupid, they are going to believe they are stupid, but if we tell them they are smart, they will believe it. We should be speaking life into our children, into ourselves, and onto others as well.

Sometimes we speak out of anger and say things we don’t mean. However, being able to pause, take a few deep breaths, count to 10, and just think about what we are about to say before we say something we’ll regret later, will be beneficial in the long run.

We don’t want to say things because of our emotions at the time, we want to say things we actually believe, which again, why we should be selective with our words.

You might like: The Importance of Saying Encouraging Words to Your Children

What Does the Bible Say About Positive Words?

The Bible mentions the power of words and how we should watch how we talk, in Proverbs 18:21 (NIV), “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Death and life are in the power of the tongue…..WOW! That is powerful, you have the power to give life to someone or death, solely with your words. Think about that for a moment.

Everyone is going through different challenges, and we don’t know if the words we speak to them will help them or make them feel worse. If it’s encouraging words, then yes, this will help them, but if we start talking negatively to them, then this will make them believe that the negative thoughts they have are right.

Another verse in the Bible that talks about the words we use are Ephesians 4:29 (NIV), “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

In other words, LET’S BUILD EACH OTHER UP! Be positive! Encourage each other! Empower each other and help each other. Simple words like, “You got this!” “You can do this!” “You are capable!” “I believe in you!” Those are simple words that can mean the world to someone and could be the little push they need to get over whatever issue they may be going through.

Verbal Abuse Is Real

Did you know that verbal abuse is real? Psychology Today talks about recognizing verbal abuse and how to stop it; it starts with us, with ourselves. In the article, they reference the book Teen Torment: Overcoming Verbal Abuse at Home and School, and the author Patricia Evans, says, “words can be as damaging to the mind as physical blows are to the body, the scars from verbal assaults can last for years,” Let’s not scar others for life with our words.

I grew up always hearing things, “you don’t do anything right,” or “is there anything you can do?” or “you never use your head to think.” And hearing these comments repeatedly for years broke down my self-esteem. I felt worthless at one point and truly felt like I couldn’t do anything right. It made me feel like a disappointment, but I promised myself to break that cycle. It took years to be able to work on my self-esteem and feel confident in myself. Nevertheless, I was able to overcome it.

Positive Words Only

I want to challenge you. If you are a person who usually thinks negatively or speaks negatively, I challenge you for a week to try to catch yourself when you’re thinking or saying something negative and see if you can change that into something positive. Write down what your thoughts were and how you turned it into something positive and look back at your notes after a week. Then answer yourself this, how did you feel? Did you see a pattern? Where do you think these negative thoughts are coming from?

Let me know how it goes for you, either in the comments or private message. Let’s work together in changing our word selections and being more positive

With Love, Heidy

Is a personal development newsletter an interest of yours? With a little bit of poetry? A little of opinion pieces? And some faith-based encouragement? Sign up for my Substack newsletter, “Into My Thoughts.”

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Categories
Blog

You Are Where You Are Because of You

cozy table with laptop, notebook, and coffee cup in park.
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

Believe it or not, where you are is because of you. Think about this: where were you five years ago? Where are you today? Did you think you would be where you are today five years ago? Where do you want to be five years from now?

Now, think about the journey you took from five years ago until today. Are you happy with your choices? If you could go back would you change anything?

Wherever you are today, you are there because of you.

My Journey

I didn’t think I would be where I am today because the journey I’ve taken in my life. I feel that life took me through so many ups and downs and I would never see the light at the end of the tunnel.

For years I didn’t know what I wanted to do careers wise. My first blog post is about picking careers (Career Paths) and how one can even decide with how many choices there are. But I am where I am today because it’s right where I’m supposed to be. But this isn’t my final destination.

And you are right where you’re supposed to be, but this isn’t your final destination neither. However, your choices with the options you had at the time led you to where you are today.

You Are Where You’re Supposed to Be

All of our choices and decisions have consequences, whether good or bad, so everything that happens to us is because of our choices, believe it or not. Life experiences are lessons and they shape us into who we are but we are where we are because of the choices we made.

Those choices and consequences led you here today. But like I said before, it’s not your final destination. So where do you want to go?

Are you where you’d like to be? If not, what can you change today that will help get you to where you’d like to be?

Where Do You Want to Go

Think about where you are and where you want to be. Make the changes you need to make today to get to where you want to go. Even if where you want to be takes five years – the time is going to pass anyways, might as well put in the work. So then five years from now you can look back and not regret where you are, instead you say, I’m right where I want to be!

With Love, Heidy

Are you interested in a little bit of a personal development newsletter? With a little bit of poetry? A little of opinion pieces? And some faith-based encouragement? Sign up for my Substack newsletter, “Into My Thoughts.”

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly
Categories
Motherhood

Three Ways I’m Breaking Generational Cycles

Growing up, there were certain things that my dad did that I didn’t understand. And many times, I found myself thinking, “I wouldn’t do that if I become a mom.” Now, there are other things that I understand better because I’m a mom. Although I never thought I would be a parent because I didn’t want kids when I was younger, now that I am, I quickly noticed that my parenting style is different from my dad and stepmom in certain aspects. Our parents did the best they could with their knowledge, but we can definitely learn from them. However, here are three ways I’m intentionally breaking generational cycles.

Telling My Daughter Positive Words/Affirmations

I wrote a blog post about the importance of saying encouraging words to your children. And because of my experience growing up, I want to make sure I’m speaking life to my daughter. Side note: I’ll be talking about my daughter because my son is only three months, but I’ll be doing the same for him. I want to make sure she is confident, believes in herself, and loves herself. The best way to do this is to tell her that I love her, that I believe in her, and that she is beautiful. I want her to know that she can do anything she puts her mind to; I want her to feel worthy and intelligent. These are things I didn’t feel myself when I was growing up. I struggled silently and internally with these feelings.

Photo by Vie Studio on Pexels.com

Better Communication Between Us

This is a big one for me because I felt like I couldn’t talk to my dad about anything because I felt like he didn’t understand me. I always had to go to my stepmom first if I wanted anything. My dad is an old-school Dominican father; I love him to death, and I know he loves me, but I wish our communication was better growing up. Anyways, I’m trying to build a safe space with my daughter. I want her to come to me first when anything happens. To establish this trust, I try my best not to overreact when something happens.

For example, my family was over one day, and my sister was coming to tell me that a boy had asked my daughter to be his girlfriend, but my daughter ended up coming to me first. So, the next day I asked her why she didn’t tell me this when it happened instead of me having to hear it from my sister, and she told me she thought I would be mad. I asked her if she said yes, and she said, “ew, no.” LOL, she’s in second grade, so boys are still gross, haha. But I asked her if she liked him, but she said no, so I asked her if there was another boy she liked and she said no. I explained to her that it’s normal for boys to like her and for her to like boys and that it’s okay; I won’t be mad because it’s natural. I wouldn’t dare tell my dad I had a crush at her age. He would have gotten mad at me. And my first crush was in second grade, and the boy was in third grade.

Validating Her Feelings

Children have emotions as adults do, and we tend to forget that. There are days when adults don’t feel like doing anything, and there are days when we aren’t having a good day; this happens to children too. They are little people with feelings, and I think it’s important to validate their feelings. I remember when my daughter was acting out, or she wasn’t acting like her usual self. So, I sat her down and asked her what was wrong, but she couldn’t explain it to me. I told her to let me know if there are days when she doesn’t feel like herself, or her energy is low. I want her to understand that this will happen sometimes, and it’s okay. And I do the same with her; when I’m not feeling good, I tell her. “Hey, mommy has a headache today, I’m not feeling well,” or “Mommy is tired today; I couldn’t sleep well last night,” and she knows I won’t be my best on that particular day.

I feel that communicating our feelings with our children lets them know that we aren’t going to be our best every day, and that’s okay, instead of having these unrealistic expectations for them. Children are in school all day every day, and sometimes they don’t have a good day, just like adults at work, so validating her feelings lets her know that her feelings matter and that I care about them.

There are more ways I’m trying to break generational cycles, but these are the three I wanted to talk about. Is there a way you are intentionally breaking generational cycles? I’d love to hear about it.

With Love, Heidy

Let’s Connect!

Twitter Instagram Facebook Pinterest

Like this post? Subscribe with your email to receive my free 5 minute journal prompts and weekly newsletters on my upcoming posts! 🙂

Check out my new Etsy shop! https://www.etsy.com/shop/WithLoveHeidy

Journals for sale!

You can get one or all of my journals on Amazon! Links are below! 🙂
My Prayer Journal 
Into My Thoughts Journal

Gratitude Journal

Categories
Blog Spiritual

Forgiveness

Why is it so hard to forgive? Is it because of the hurt? Or who we were hurt by? It’s always who we least expect it from. Or maybe it was the action? But whatever the reason forgiveness is hard and we have to a lot of it, the Bible says 70 x 7.

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven,” Matthew 18:21-22 of the Revised Standard Version 

The Bible talks quite a bit about forgiveness, and we have to forgive. We have to forgive ourselves, and we have to forgive others. God forgives us every day for our sins. Every single day!

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 New International Version

We aren’t perfect – no one is, which is why we hurt other people. Sometimes intentional, and sometimes we don’t realize it. But regardless, it is wrong, and we have to forgive. Forgiveness isn’t for the person you’re forgiving – it’s for you. It’s freeing you of that burden. You carry around all this weight that’s holding you down and aren’t able to move on. But once you let it go, it’s so freeing.

It does take time to forgive. Do it when you’re ready. Once you’ve processed the hurt and understand your emotions. Ask God to help you – he will guide you, but it needs to be done. Don’t live with the pain, it will make you bitter. Let go of the hurt – it will free you. And once you let go, don’t ever look back.

I challenge you to write a letter to someone you need to forgive. Write down how they hurt you and how it made you feel. Write your thoughts, everything you wish you could tell them, and then read it out loud to yourself, and then rip it up and throw it away.

Protect yourself – yes, sometimes people deserve a second chance, but you decide. You get to decide if you want to give them another chance. You can forgive and not give another chance because you have to protect yourself. Just don’t let one person pay for what someone else did, that’s not fair.

Forgive – because you deserve peace.

c32fd15a4860a07b9c053752cbf8ccf5-1

 

Categories
Blog

Why Can’t We Celebrate Diversity?

From all the comments of the Super Bowl Half-Time Show and while listening to The Breakfast Club, I started to think, why can’t we celebrate diversity? Why can’t we embrace different cultures? This is what makes this country so beautiful, the difference between all the people. What other countries in the world do you know that are as diverse as ours? Why can’t we be more open-minded to accept differences, to accept diversity, to try to learn about other cultures, to try to understand their norm? God made us all different for a reason. There are different cultures for a reason. Being able to see a representation of different cultures is so beautiful to me.

What if we lived in a world where there was one culture? If we were all the same? That would be boring and dull. I challenge you to try to be a little open-minded, try to be a bit more accepting of differences, try to be a little more respectful of different cultures, you might learn something. Do a little research before you come up with your statement. Don’t be so quick to judge, dig deeper, and look at the bigger picture. This world is filled with so much information, so many beautiful people, so many fascinating cultures, and why not embrace it?

Just because it was a little different than yours doesn’t make it bad, or wrong, or inappropriate. God gave us two sets of eyes, two ears, and one mouth – to see more and listen more than we talk.

Let’s embrace our differences, not bash it. Let’s learn from each other and respect each other. We, the people, are what makes this country beautiful, all of our differences, and the different cultures we are exposed to. Thank you, God, for making us the way you did, and I pray this world could be a little more accepting.

photo of people near wooden table
Photo by fauxels on Pexels.com

Categories
Blog

Kindness Podcast Episode Review

Photo by Simon Migaj on Pexels.com

I started following Jay Shetty on Instagram after I saw his interview on Red Table Talk with Jada Pinkett Smith. Jay Shetty is a motivational speaker, and his goal is making wisdom go viral. He’s a former monk and spreads positivity like wildfire, my type of people honestly. LOL

I recently came across his post on IG with Khloe Kardashian, I know I’ve probably lost some readers by now, but keep reading this is insightful, and he was asking to drop a “yes” in the comments if you listened to the podcast episode with her. And I just thought to myself, “what!? Khloe did an interview with Jay Shetty, how could I’ve missed this?” Yes, I am a Kardashian fan, but I do not follow them like I used to when I was younger. And out of the clan, Khole has always been the one I found is the most real and most relatable.

As I was listening to the podcast on my way to pick up Lia from school, I was hearted with how similar our mindset is and how much Khloe and I have in common. She spoke so much truth, and she truly is a kind soul. She tries to spread kindness and positivity, and again, those are my kind of people.

At the beginning of the episode, she talks about how we are all made up of energy and how it affects other people, she mentioned if people were just 5% kinder by doing simple things. For example, smile when opening the door to someone or saying “Hi” to a stranger, it could provide good karma back to you throughout the day.

Jay brought up an example of how he realized that when he would order an Uber, he wouldn’t say hi to the drivers until one driver didn’t start driving until Jay responded back to him. The driver must have asked him, “Hey, how are you?” about three times before Jay realized he was speaking to him because he was so busy on his phone. Khloe then reminds us that we are all humans, and we did operate before phones took over, so we should be human to one another.

The first thing that surprised me that Khloe and I have in common is that we both journal. She said she finds it very therapeutic, and I feel that it really helped me incredibly, especially this year when I took on so many projects at once. I like to write down my prayers, especially in the morning, because I like to wake up with a heart of gratitude. Journaling also helps get my thoughts together, plans, goals, and it’s helpful to look back and see my progress throughout the year.

Jay said he suggests writing all the time for people and to read back what they wrote down. Both him and Khloe agreed that writing, reading, and reflecting back is a form of therapy, and I couldn’t agree more.

The next topic was social media, and Khloe mentioned how she would go to someone’s page and compliment their freckles and things like that and how she would never go to someone’s page to talk bad about them. She tries to always encourage and uplift on social media, and I try to do the same. I like to spread positivity, encourage, and also support others on social media I would NEVER talk bad about someone on social media or use that platform for negativity because I don’t want that negativity in my life.

Even off social media, I try to be positive and encourage those around me. One coworker recently told me that she liked that I was so optimistic, and that meant SO much to me. I really want to be known and remembered as someone who was/is positive because it affects those around me. And not only do I try to be positive but also empathetic. You have to be able to put yourself in other people’s shoes and understand their viewpoints. And Khloe mentions this in the episode about being understanding.

The next thing that we both have in common is that we both pray. Khloe mentions that she takes time in the morning to pray, and she believes in God. Jay stated he feels that prayer is very important, and it’s a form of meditation. “Everyone should have faith in something, it centers us, holds us accountable for our actions every day.” -Khloe. I couldn’t agree more with her because faith, to me, is very important, and it’s a massive part of who I am.

She mentions that starting the day with gratitude can transit throughout the day, and she likes to set her mood for the day in the morning because you attract negative or positive things, it’s like a snowball effect. This is also why I like to write my prayers in the morning. Yes, I pray at night too, but I write my prayers in the morning, and it really does set the mood for the rest of the day.

Although she has to wake up earlier to pray, she said she doesn’t mind it because she said: “you make time for the things you want to do.” And this is so true if it is important for you or something you WANT to do, you WILL make time for it.

The next topic was her relationship with Tristen, and as we all mostly know about how he publicly cheated on her a few days before she was due to give birth to their baby True, and she mentions how she doesn’t hold any hate or anger towards him,. She doesn’t feel like she’s a victim. She says it’s so easy to play the victim, but everyone goes through things, and she isn’t the first or last person this has happened to. People make mistakes, and she understands that, but she won’t let her relationship with him affect his relationship with his daughter because he’s never hurt True, and although they didn’t work out, he is still her father.

I related to her completely on this because I was also betrayed by Lia’s father, but I cannot let that come in between their relationship because if he wants to be there for her, then I cannot stand in the way. Whatever happened between us shouldn’t affect our child; although we aren’t together anymore, each of us has an important role in Lia’s life. In the end, if I wouldn’t allow Lia to see her father because of how he treated me, it would hurt Lia because she deserves and needs a relationship with her father.

Khloe says we shouldn’t be irresponsible with our feelings, and we shouldn’t channel our hurt to other people, and this, to me, speaks volumes. There is a famous saying, “hurt people hurt people,” but if we can all deal with our hurt and heal from it, then we won’t hurt others. “You can’t always blame someone else for why you are the way you are, you have to be accountable too” -Khloe. We shouldn’t let emotional shame others or put a deadline on other people’s pain, but we should all work to try to heal from our pain. She also mentions that you can recover from the hurt and still talk about as long as you’re working through it.

I feel like everyone should listen to this episode, whether you are a fan of the Kardashians or not. There is a lot of truth spoken in this episode, and I love what Jay Shetty is doing with his platform and Khloe too. I try to spread positivity online and offline. Let’s challenge ourselves to try to be 5% kinder this new year! Blessings.

Link to podcast episode – https://jayshetty.me/khloe-kardashian-on-the-importance-of-putting-yourself-first-making-kindness-the-new-norm/

Follow me on social media:

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/heidyreynoso13

Twitter – https://twitter.com/PSiLoveYoux13

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/heidyspoems/