Blog Book Review

Book Review: White Fragility & The 5 People You Meet in Heaven

The Five People You Met in Heaven by Mitch Albom

I heard about this book in middle school. I want to say we read it, or it was read to us by our English teacher; that exact detail I cannot remember, but I remember watching the movie right after we read the book. I remember the movie being good, so I wanted to reread the book.  

The story is about Eddie and the five people he meets in heaven. Each person gives him a life lesson. He realizes that everyone is connected in one way or another, although some didn’t know each other. And that everyone’s life mattered to him in some way.

It was a good book with a good life lesson that makes you realize each person we come across within our lifetime is for a reason. The sequel to this book is – The next person you meet in heaven, which I’ve added to my list to read.

White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo

My husband’s brother’s wife recommended this book, and I bought it last summer but didn’t come around to read it until now. How many of my book worms can relate? Anyways, I posted on Instagram asking if any of my followers had read it and a friend of mine told me she did and to take my time because it was a lot of information.

Well, it was a lot, and here are the few things that stood out to me.

She writes that racism is an institution placed by people in power, which were white males.
She uses the example of women’s right to vote. The only people who could give women the right to vote were white males because they were the only ones who could vote. But not all women got that right; it was only white women.

And to understand racism, we have to understand prejudice and discrimination. On page 20, she writes, “When a racial group’s collective prejudice is backed by the power of legal authority and institutional control, it is transformed into racism, a far-reaching system that functions independently from the intentions or self-images of individual actors.” She mentions how Thomas Jefferson wanted scientists to find natural differences between the races, but of course, there were none. But that in less than a century, his suggestion of racial difference became accepted as a scientific “fact” (Pg. 16). Jefferson needed this to be true to justify the enslavement of African Americans.

Because she writes that racism is institutionalized, this line on page 73 stood out to me; it says, “The simplistic idea that racism is limited to individual intentional act committed by unkind people is at the root of virtually all white defensiveness on this topic.” Which is probably why many white people say they aren’t racist or say, “I have friends that are black, so I cannot be racist.” They are the ones who really need to read this book to understand white fragility.

She addresses a myth of affirmative action that people think quotas or requirements are needed to be fulfilled by corporations, but what it really is a “tool to ensure that qualified minority applicants are given the same employment opportunities as white people” (pg. 92). But white women have been the ones who primarily benefit from affirmative action.

After reading this book, I realized this book falls in alignment with Critical race theory. According to, “the core idea is that race is a social construct and that racism is not merely the product of individual bias or prejudice, but also something embedded in legal systems and policies.” This is an academic concept that is over 40 years old. And no, it’s not taught in K-12 schools.

This book did teach me a lot, but I feel that those who really need to read it won’t. I am hopeful that changes will come to the US in regards to social justice and equality; however, those changes will happen slowly.

With Love, Heidy

Have you read this book? What was your take on it?

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Let’s Talk…Feminism

My research for feminism started after I read Candice Owen’s book, Blackout, where she stated that the feminism movement was emasculating to men. It wasn’t about equality but instead of lying on men. She mentioned the #MeToo movement and also the #BelieveAllWomen and gave examples of women who had lied about being sexually assaulted. This is the third time I had heard about a woman being against feminism, which I found odd, to be honest. If you look up the definition of feminism, it says, noun

  1. the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.

Why would a woman not be for the equality of the sexes? But the thing is that not everyone understands the definition of feminism because of how people have taken it out of its original concept.

The first time I had heard about a woman against feminism was while I was listening to a podcast. She had mentioned that feminism creates damage to society by emasculating them. And we have to be careful about these “positive” messages sent out for women’s empowerment. She spoke from a Biblical perspective and explained how God created men and women differently and for different roles. She doesn’t want to do what men do and that our roles are different for a reason.

As a believer myself, I completely understood where she was coming from, but I believe that women should have equal opportunities in housing, occupation, salaries, and society. Back in the day, women couldn’t even get a credit card without their husband’s approval.

So why is it that some people view feminism so badly? From my research, I came across an article on that showed a few reasons. It talked about how many people view equality differently. What one woman may see as equality I another woman may not. Many people believe we’ve already reached equality for both sexes. Yes, women can work, but we know that we still aren’t paid the same as men. Others believe that feminism is empowering women while de-powering men or that women are superior to men, but really neither sex is better than the other. I found it interesting that some people fear that feminism will overturn traditions, religious beliefs, and established gender roles.

Picture from Pinterest

Let’s discuss a little history of feminism, there have actually been four waves.

The First Wave

The first wave was during the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. The goal at the time was to open opportunities for women, with a focus on suffrage. During this time was the environment of urban industrialism and liberal, socialist politics movements.

The Second Wave

The second wave was in the 1960s, which continued into the 90s. During this time, the environment was anti-war and civil rights. Sexuality and reproductive rights were the focus.

They wanted to pass the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution to guarantee social equality no matter the sex. The second wave’s timing was also during the time of other social movements like Black Power and the end of the Vietnam War, which was viewed as a less pressing issue.

The Third Wave

The third waves bring us to the mid-90s. This wave was nothing like the ones before due to the young feminists of the very lipstick, high-heels, and cleavage proudly exposed. Women during this time didn’t really identify as “feminists.” The focus was the body, gender, sexuality, and heteronormativity.

The Fourth Wave

The fourth wave of feminism, you can say, is right now. The following issues are receiving national attention, which was not before: sexual abuse, rape, violence against women, unequal pay, slut-shaming, the pressure on women to conform to a single and unrealistic body-type, and the realization that gains in female representation in politics and business. Sexual assault and rape have always been an issue, but the subject wasn’t discussed before, not until the #metoo and #timesup movement became public.


It wasn’t until the great depression that women began to enter the workplace because many men lost their jobs. Women took lower-paying jobs like housework, teaching, and secretarial roles. These jobs were deemed “women’s work.” It wasn’t until World War II that women found jobs previously reserved for men while men fought in the war. Then equal pay became women’s fights.

During the third wave, it was clear the feminist movement was not for everyone; it was only beneficial to white, college-educated women. The other issues facing women of color were not addressed.

This brings me to book “White Feminism” By Koa Beck. I found this book in the Library and decided to check it out to further my research on feminism. This book was released this year. It talks about how the movement of feminism excluded women of color; the movement mostly benefited white women, which makes sense because the struggle of women of color is not the same struggle of white women. What I got from the book that white women are willing to fight for their struggles but not get involved in other women’s struggles or struggles that don’t really apply to them.

Picture from Pinterest

I Asked My Followers Questions on Feminism

I asked my followers on Instagram how they defined feminism and do they agree with today’s movement. And here were some responses:

“Women and men deserve equal access to employment, compensation, etc.”

“proud” so I followed up asking, “proud to be women?” They said, “yes, and to fight to be equal”


“I define feminism as rejecting patriarchy systems and structures set in place to reduce women to nothing. Likely, I see feminism as the ability to advocate and empower women to stand their ground when it comes to beliefs, body, existence.”

“Complicated. We’d have to define which Feminist movement because I think even within the Feminist movements there are divisions. There are feminist that are considered, “Militant Feminist” because the extremist beliefs. I wouldn’t consider myself extremist, but I do believe in the equal access of employment, compensation, and healthcare. It’s full political, social, and economic equality for women, which would bring it to everyone in the world because men already have privileges.”

“As usual society took a movement with good intentions and bastardized it by taking the principles and twisting it for their own agenda. For example, to be a feminist now you have to be pro-abortion. That’s not what the original feminists intended. They intended for us to be treated equally in the eyes of the law. To be able to vote, own property, receive equal pay. These days it has turned into a culture and that’s always dangerous.”

“What I don’t like is that this movement is being highjacked because weren’t not all in agreement of what empowerment looks like. Some believe women can just do any and everything and no one should hold them accountable.”

My Take on Feminism

I agree that women should have the same opportunities as men when it comes to housing, jobs, salaries, etc. But it seems like that movement has been far removed from the original stands. Do I call myself a feminist? If someone asks me with the actual definition of feminism, then I can say yes, but if it’s anything else, then no. Men and Women are equal in the sense that no sex is above the other. Although we are made differently and wired differently for different roles, we both should still have the same opportunities in society. That is my view on feminism. I’ll continue to educate myself on the matter, and I love hearing other people’s points of view on different topics, so I would love to keep this conversation going. How do you view feminism? Do you consider yourself a feminist? I love would love to know your thoughts, so let’s connect!

P.S. Men can be feminist too – as long as they believe in the equal rights of the sexes 😉

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