We are always multitasking, especially women. Women can be folding the laundry while watching a television show but still making sure the kids are okay or cooking dinner while listening to a podcast. We are regularly doing more than one thing at the same time. I believe women are the masters of multitasking. But mindfulness is the exact opposite of multitasking.
Mindful.orgdefines mindfulness as the ability to be fully present in the moment, being aware of where we are and what we are doing, but not overwhelmed by what is happening around us.
At any time during the day, one can practice mindfulness, which can have many benefits.
The Benefits
Professor Jon Kabat-Zinn brought mindfulness into mainstream medicine. According to Helpguide.org, he was the founder and former director of the Stress Reduction Clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center. He showed that practicing mindfulness brings improvement in both physical and psychological symptoms. It also provides a positive change in attitudes, behavior, and health.
Scientifically, experts view mindfulness as a critical element in reducing stress and enhancing overall happiness.
Mindfulness improves mental health.
Psychotherapists have used mindfulness meditation as a treatment for many problems like substance abuse, depression, eating disorders, anxiety disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder, to name a few.
Mindfulness improves well-being
Because mindfulness focuses on the present, using this practice can help people not be so worried about the future or think about past regrets. Mindfulness makes it easier to be fully present in current activities and make them more pleasurable or enjoyable. Also, it helps with a positive attitude that contributes to the satisfaction of life.
Mindfulness improves physical health.
It can help reduce stress, lower blood pressure, improve sleep, treat heart disease, and reduce chronic pain.
How can you practice mindfulness?
There are many ways to practice mindfulness; the primary goal of any mindfulness technique is to focus on the present, be alert, and focus on relaxation. Being present, there in the moment, not worrying about anything else but being present in the moment.
Meditation is the most common way to practice.
Start with sitting straight back on a chair or with your legs crossed on the floor.
Focus on your breathing.
Once you have concentrated on your breathing, become aware of sounds and your ideas.
Embrace your thoughts without judging good or bad, and if your mind starts to race, go back and concentrate on your breathing.
Can mindfulness have a Christian approach?
Absolutely! FocusOnTheFamily.com mentions how Christians and faith-based counselors use mindfulness as a therapy tool, Christ-integrated, by making mindfulness rooted in scripture and focus on connecting with God during the technique.
Psalm 104:34, “May my meditation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the Lord.” (NIV)
Prayer is a practical way that Christians apply mindfulness to their daily lives because when people pray or worship, they are concentrating on God; their focus is connecting with God and drawing God’s presence near.
1 Thessalonians 5:17 “pray continually.” (NIV)
Some can be fearful because they find that mindfulness is self-centered or self-focus, but as a Christian, making it God-centered or God-focused shouldn’t be a problem. It is setting time apart to just be present in the moment, in that precious moment with God. It’s very comforting and brings so much peace.
In conclusion
Mindfulness has many benefits to our overall health. It is a technique that should be practiced because it can improve our focus. When done correctly, it can help bring us closer to God.
Set some time apart during the day, maybe in the morning before you start your day, or at night before bed to whine down and practice mindfulness for about five minutes, few times a week and see if you can notice a difference.
Let me know what difference it makes!
With Love, Heidy
Is a personal development newsletter an interest of yours? With a little bit of poetry? A little of opinion pieces? And some faith-based encouragement? Sign up for my Substack newsletter, “Into My Thoughts.”
In today’s society it seems like everyone has their own business. Whether it’s a full-time business or a side hustle people are trying to bring in extra income. And with the economy being the way it is, I don’t blame them. So today, I want to provide five ways you can support a friend’s business for free!
1. Follow Their Business Page
When someone starts a business, they usually start a business page because they will want to separate their personal posts from their promotional posts. So, the first way you can support your friend if they start a business is to follow their business page. It takes two seconds and costs you nothing.
2. Engage With Their Posts
It’s not just about following their page; you also should engage with their posts. If your friend is posting a poll – answer honestly. They are most likely doing market research to help their consumers and provide better products and services. If they post a picture and, in the caption, they finish with a question answer the question in the comments, it will encourage other people to comment too. By engaging in their posts, it will help the platforms algorithm and it will help other people find their page too.
By sharing their posts, it helps reach your followers who may not be following your friend’s business page. This can help bring more traffic and followers to your friend’s page. In which these followers can turn into customers. Sharing a post with someone else directly who you think might benefit from the information provided. I love receiving posts from people because I know they thought of me, which makes me feel special, LOL. But in all seriousness, sharing a post cost nothing and can help more than you think with their business.
4. Subscribe to Their Email List
Back in April, I wrote on why small businesses should have email lists, you can read that post here. And if you’re friend starts an email list for their business – sign up! Again, it costs nothing to sign up and you’ll get the inside scoop on what’s going on in the business. Businesses usually use email lists to provide promo codes and discounts for their products and services. But if anything happens to social media, the business will still be able to stay in contact with you.
5. Tell A Friend
There is nothing better than getting a customer from a referral and/or word of mouth. People are more likely to use products and services when a friend recommends it. So, if you know your friend’s business can help someone, let them know. This is absolutely free and definitely helps your friend’s small business.
Alright, there you have it, five ways you can help support a friend’s small business for free. Of course, you may want to support by hiring them for their services or buying their products, but if you cannot do that during this time and you still want to support, these gestures can go a long way. Trust me.
Is a personal development newsletter an interest of yours? With a little bit of poetry? A little of opinion pieces? And some faith-based encouragement? Sign up for my Substack newsletter, “Into My Thoughts.”
We all know the saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” or something along those lines, but the truth is, words do hurt. We have to be VERY selective with our words. The words we use are more of a reflection of our character than what they are of the person who we are talking to or about.
Words are powerful, and what we say can and usually does come true. If we speak negatively, we are going to attract negative things, but if we speak positively, than we will attract positive things. So, why not use more positive words? Not just to attract positive things but be favorable to ourselves and others.
How Do You Speak to Your Children?
Think about children and how we speak to them, if we tell a child they are stupid, they are going to believe they are stupid, but if we tell them they are smart, they will believe it. We should be speaking life into our children, into ourselves, and onto others as well.
Sometimes we speak out of anger and say things we don’t mean. However, being able to pause, take a few deep breaths, count to 10, and just think about what we are about to say before we say something we’ll regret later, will be beneficial in the long run.
We don’t want to say things because of our emotions at the time, we want to say things we actually believe, which again, why we should be selective with our words.
The Bible mentions the power of words and how we should watch how we talk, in Proverbs 18:21 (NIV), “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Death and life are in the power of the tongue…..WOW! That is powerful, you have the power to give life to someone or death, solely with your words. Think about that for a moment.
Everyone is going through different challenges, and we don’t know if the words we speak to them will help them or make them feel worse. If it’s encouraging words, then yes, this will help them, but if we start talking negatively to them, then this will make them believe that the negative thoughts they have are right.
Another verse in the Bible that talks about the words we use are Ephesians 4:29 (NIV), “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
In other words, LET’S BUILD EACH OTHER UP! Be positive! Encourage each other! Empower each other and help each other. Simple words like, “You got this!” “You can do this!” “You are capable!” “I believe in you!” Those are simple words that can mean the world to someone and could be the little push they need to get over whatever issue they may be going through.
Verbal Abuse Is Real
Did you know that verbal abuse is real? Psychology Today talks about recognizing verbal abuse and how to stop it; it starts with us, with ourselves. In the article, they reference the book Teen Torment: Overcoming Verbal Abuse at Home and School, and the author Patricia Evans, says, “words can be as damaging to the mind as physical blows are to the body, the scars from verbal assaults can last for years,” Let’s not scar others for life with our words.
I grew up always hearing things, “you don’t do anything right,” or “is there anything you can do?” or “you never use your head to think.” And hearing these comments repeatedly for years broke down my self-esteem. I felt worthless at one point and truly felt like I couldn’t do anything right. It made me feel like a disappointment, but I promised myself to break that cycle. It took years to be able to work on my self-esteem and feel confident in myself. Nevertheless, I was able to overcome it.
Positive Words Only
I want to challenge you. If you are a person who usually thinks negatively or speaks negatively, I challenge you for a week to try to catch yourself when you’re thinking or saying something negative and see if you can change that into something positive. Write down what your thoughts were and how you turned it into something positive and look back at your notes after a week. Then answer yourself this, how did you feel? Did you see a pattern? Where do you think these negative thoughts are coming from?
Let me know how it goes for you, either in the comments or private message. Let’s work together in changing our word selections and being more positive
With Love, Heidy
Is a personal development newsletter an interest of yours? With a little bit of poetry? A little of opinion pieces? And some faith-based encouragement? Sign up for my Substack newsletter, “Into My Thoughts.”
Believe it or not, where you are is because of you. Think about this: where were you five years ago? Where are you today? Did you think you would be where you are today five years ago? Where do you want to be five years from now?
Now, think about the journey you took from five years ago until today. Are you happy with your choices? If you could go back would you change anything?
Wherever you are today, you are there because of you.
My Journey
I didn’t think I would be where I am today because the journey I’ve taken in my life. I feel that life took me through so many ups and downs and I would never see the light at the end of the tunnel.
For years I didn’t know what I wanted to do careers wise. My first blog post is about picking careers (Career Paths) and how one can even decide with how many choices there are. But I am where I am today because it’s right where I’m supposed to be. But this isn’t my final destination.
And you are right where you’re supposed to be, but this isn’t your final destination neither. However, your choices with the options you had at the time led you to where you are today.
You Are Where You’re Supposed to Be
All of our choices and decisions have consequences, whether good or bad, so everything that happens to us is because of our choices, believe it or not. Life experiences are lessons and they shape us into who we are but we are where we are because of the choices we made.
Those choices and consequences led you here today. But like I said before, it’s not your final destination. So where do you want to go?
Are you where you’d like to be? If not, what can you change today that will help get you to where you’d like to be?
Where Do You Want to Go
Think about where you are and where you want to be. Make the changes you need to make today to get to where you want to go. Even if where you want to be takes five years – the time is going to pass anyways, might as well put in the work. So then five years from now you can look back and not regret where you are, instead you say, I’m right where I want to be!
With Love, Heidy
Are you interested in a little bit of a personal development newsletter? With a little bit of poetry? A little of opinion pieces? And some faith-based encouragement? Sign up for my Substack newsletter, “Into My Thoughts.”
Recently, I finished reading “Overcoming Underearning – A five-step plan to a richer life” by Barbara Stanny. It was gifted to me by my business coach, and honestly, at first, I didn’t think I was going to read it. First, I had never heard of Barbara Stanny, and second, I wasn’t interested in earning more money; my goal was to get my finances in order (you don’t necessarily need more money to achieve that). However, I’m glad I read this book, and I encourage any woman who has a business or needs to get their finances in order (like me) to read it.
In this book, Barbara provides five steps to a better life, as the title says, and today I want to talk to you about step four, create community.
Barbara says, “Whatever we achieve (or don’t) is significantly affected by our cumulative interactions with everyone we associate with on a regular basis.”
And this statement hit home when I read it. I immediately thought of my spouse, friends, and family members, who have supported all my projects. She says that there are four types of supporters:
True Believers – say, “Go for it.”
Confidantes – say, “I understand.”
Way Showers – say, “You can do it, too; let me show you how.”
Messengers – say, “I can help.”
It’s imperative to have support around you to reach any goal because we cannot do anything alone. I mean, you could, but it will be ten times harder and take ten times longer. You need people around you who will hold you accountable, provide resources, and inspire you.
Think about your support system – do you share your goals with them? Why or why not? Can you share your goals with your friends? What about family members? Are they supportive? Why or why not? Barbara mentions that you are more likely to reach a goal or the next level by sharing your goals with one other person.
What about your spouse? Are they supportive? In the book, she mentioned that after finishing her workshop, some women ended up separating from their spouses because they realized the spouse was holding them back. Now, I’m not saying to get a divorce; I’m saying to re-evaluate who you have around you.
I share my goals with my husband, and I share the steps I am going to take to reach those goals. The kids are with my husband when I have events, meetings, or need to record a podcast episode. When I am struggling or have doubts about anything, I go to my husband for support. He gives me his perspective and sometimes suggestions on how to approach my challenge. If not, he always reminds me to pray.
My closest friends celebrate my wins like they are theirs, and I do theirs. I try to support them in any way that I can. And you should have people around you like this, who believe in you and your dreams and will encourage and support you to achieve them.
Let me finish by giving you the six principles Barbara says you need to create a powerful community.
Realize no one will do this for you, but you don’t have to do it alone.
Reach out and ask for support.
Hang out with the kind of people you want to be, not who you’ve been.
Recognize the role of the naysayer.
Watch what you talk about.
Respect yourself by taking time for you.
Do you have a supportive community? Reach out if you need someone in your corner; I got you!
HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you brought in the new year surrounded by loved ones or exactly how you wanted to. I cannot believe it’s 2023, and I’m writing my blog post about my word of the year. I swear, every year goes by faster and faster. (And I probably write that EVERY SINGLE YEAR LOL.)
Last year’s word was growth. I wrote that I wanted to grow in my career, which I did (check), in motherhood (adjusting to being a mom of two), and in my writing. And if you read my recap of 2022, I feel like I did a lot of growth last year. So, this year – it makes sense that God gave me the word discipline.
Here are the three areas where I’m going apply discipline this year.
My Health
So, after having my son, it’s been a struggle to stay consistent in trying to lose the baby weight. I know that losing weight, in general, is hard work, but I’ve never had to do that in my life before because I’ve always been skinny. Even after having my daughter, since I had her so young, the weight came right off. This is the first time I’ll have to work to lose weight, and it’s all new to me.
I want to be consistent in working out, and it’s not only for losing weight but to be healthier too. I would like for it to be my lifestyle. My biggest problem is not being consistent. I’ll start working out, do it for like a week or two, and then I’ll just stop. So, this year, I want to be disciplined in working out.
Business/Podcast
Did you know I have a business? Probably not because I’m not very good at promoting it, but I do. I provide writing services to small businesses (newsletter, social media, blog posts, show notes for podcasts, etc.) And I help podcasters launch and manage their podcasts. (Official name of my business is coming soon).
So, in this new year, I want to be disciplined in growing my business. Last year I did a few networking events, so I’ll continue to do that but also, I need to promote my business better. If you want to start a podcast, send me a message, and let’s talk.
With my podcast, I’ve been consistent, and I definitely want to continue to grow. Eventually, it would be nice to have my own podcast studio and have guests come and do the interviews in person.
Finance
Okay, for the past few months, I’ve been reading finance books, listening to audible books, and learning as much as I can about investing, budgeting, and savings. Hubby and I have been working on getting our finances together and being more financially literate. So, for this new year, I want to be disciplined with my money. Our biggest goal is to get out of debt (it’s so easy to get into debt, but such a hassle to get out of it). We have set a plan to pay off debt, and I want to stick to it.
My biggest problem is seeing events happening, and I want to go to all of them. And I want to buy all the books! And I want to travel, and I want to make all these memories with my family. I want to do everything at once and right now because life is short, LOL. But then we get into more debt, and it’s a cycle every single year.
But this year will be different! At the end of the year, I will write that they are debt free! 🙂
It’s that time of year again! It is time to do my yearly recap, write down all that went down in the year, and get ready with the new word for next year. It seems like every year; it arrives quicker.
I feel like these posts will be great for when I’m old and want to reminisce on my life – I’ll pull up these yearly recap posts and read them to my grandchildren. LOL (They probably won’t care.)
Alright, let’s get started.
January 2022
We brought the new year at home with our newborn Jayden and hubby’s family. It was quiet and pleasant. We spent the majority of this month at home; we were both on parental leave from our jobs and very sleep-deprived. I started having guests for my YouTube channel this month! I started with my friend LaUni who is a musician – you can check out the interview here.
February 2022
I bought a cookie decorating kit at Sam’s Club for Valentine’s Day. Lia and I decorated the cookies with our neighbor and her two girls. I attended a Galentine’s Paint Night with the ladies from church, which was nice. And they surprised me for my birthday and gave me flowers and a gift. This month is my birthday and our wedding anniversary, so this year it was hubby’s turn to plan something, and he did a romantic picnic in our little patio, which was so cute. He ordered Hibachi, and we watched the Super Bowl while eating. This month I also started writing on Medium – if you’d like to sign up, you can use my referral link here.
This is the picnic hubby organized
March 2022
This month hubby and I opened an online t-shirt business. We ended up closing it a few months later, but I’m planning on using the LLC for something else (stay tuned – it’s still in the works). Also, thank you to all who supported us and bought t-shirts.
Jayden got his first ear infection, which was the first time I had dealt with that because Lia never got one when she was a baby.
Maternity leave ended this month, and I was NOT ready to start work. I wrote about that for Medium. While on maternity leave, I saw a coding position available, so I emailed the link to my work email, and on my first day back, I applied. One of my goals for 2022 was to land a coding position.
April 2022
The first episode of my podcast was published! I was so excited to finally get a podcast going since I’ve wanted to host one since like 2019. Thank you once again to those who have supported the podcast. New episodes are available every other Tuesday on all major podcast platforms.
This month we flew down hubby’s firstborn son for Spring Break so he could meet his baby brother. We took all the kids out to Disney Springs. For Easter, we attended our church’s annual Easter celebration. It was an adjustment going out with a baby now. LOL, we were so used to just going out with Lia.
I attended the LifeWay Women’s Live Conference with the ladies from the church. You can read about my experience here or watch my video on my YouTube channel. I believe it was my first time being away from Jayden all day, and towards the end of the day, I was feeling mom guilt because I felt like I shouldn’t have been away from him for that long.
So, remember that I applied for the coding position? Well, the following week, I had an interview, and they gave me an offer right away – I started at the end of this month. I was so excited because it was a goal of mine for the year that I could check off and a goal I had for my career.
Us at Disney Springs
May 2022
This month hubby and I had our first night out away from Jayden, but I wasn’t ready to leave him yet. We went to see Ricardo Arjona in concert, and he is one of hubby’s favorite musicians. His songs are literally poetry that tells a story. Anyways, I had gotten floor seat tickets the previous year, so I said even if I’m not ready, we are going. (I enjoy his music, too, LOL). We enjoyed the concert very much, but I ended up getting COVID.
I got COVID, and I called the pediatrician, and he told me that Jayden would most likely get it, so monitor his symptoms. So, Jayden got it, and my husband got it; the only person who didn’t get it was Lia. I talk about our symptoms and how we handled them on my YouTube channel; you can watch the video here.
After we were all done with COVID, well, Jayden and I, because hubby had lingering side effects, my daughter brought home the flu from school. So that was another week of being sick. It felt like we spent the whole month being sick.
This month I launched my gratitude journal! Check it out on Amazon!
I almost forgot the most important thing that happened this month – I GOT MY BRACES TAKEN OFF!
At the concertThe first picture I took without my braces.
June 2022
I saw Juan Luis Guerra again in concert – I attended with my friend and my aunt. It was so much fun!
Lia left for the summer to be with her dad in the Dominican Republic.
I started the self-publishing process of my poetry book, and that was a challenge. I wrote about my process here. If you are interested in self-publishing or have any questions – contact me; I’d love to help.
July 2022
We spent the 4th of July at home, and family came over, which was nice. We went to see the sunrise at the beach, which was beautiful. If you haven’t done that yet, I recommend you do that at least once in your life. Lia came back from DR!
And my poetry book was published this month! Barnes & Noble, Target, and Book Depository were the first websites to pick up my book; now, when you google it, there are websites from all over the world that have it! I spent the majority of this month creating my marketing plan, and I did a photoshoot to help promote it. I contacted fellow writers to read the book and provide reviews, and some of my friends did too. And I set up podcast interviews to discuss my book, the journey, and promote it. I was also planning a book launch party. This was a busy month for me.
My Poetry Book!
August 2022
August is one of my favorite months because it’s my husband’s birthday, a few good friends, and some family members. Lia started 3rd grade – so she’s an upperclassman now, LOL. Hubby and I went to the batting cages for the first time, which was cool. And towards the end of the month, I had my book launch party!
The feeling of seeing all your family and closest friends together celebrating your book is something I cannot even express. My best friend from high school flew down for the book launch party, and it was nice to have her stay with me for a few days.
I was invited to be a guest speaker at a Latina business networking event. I spoke about my journey with my book, why I wrote it, and what it is about. I also talked about my podcast, and I booked two sisters to share their journey of being children of immigrants. (Once their episode is published, I’ll let you know).
My Best FriendI’m a published author!My Family Signing booksGiving my speech
September 2022
We took our first family road trip down to Miami for Labor Day weekend. We stayed in a nice Airbnb in the middle of the art district, so we were a few blocks away from the Wynwood Walls. We took the kids to the Miami kid’s museum, we ate, and we shopped. Overall, it was a nice family getaway.
One of my friends from high school sent me a picture, letting me know that my poetry book was in the district library in my hometown. I cannot wait to visit back home to see it in the library.
October 2022
My dad’s birthday was such a blast this year. The family gathered at his house to eat, play dominos, drink, and we ended the night singing karaoke.
This month I did spoken word poetry for the first time! It was hosted at an art museum, and I thought there wouldn’t be too many people, but the turnout was good. I was so nervous, but I did it, and I’m proud of myself.
Lia and I went to a fall festival at a church close to our house. She had fun playing games and getting her face painted.
My sister got her senior pictures taken, and I helped her with her make-up. I cannot believe she’s a senior in high school already!
I started therapy this month because I thought I was going through another depressive episode and found out that I was burnt out – I wrote about it on Medium.
November 2022
The busy season started! Lia and I went to paint pottery with my friend and her daughter, which was fun! This was a new experience for all of us. We also saw HAMILTON, the musical, and we LOVED it! I was a vendor for the first time at a Pink Friday event. That was an experience.
We celebrated Lia’s 9th birthday! And I was interviewed for an internet radio show. (So many firsts this year). I slowed down on scheduling podcast recordings because of being burnt out, but I am still doing interviews and being a guest on podcast shows.
Do you remember when I told you my best friend came for my book launch party? Well, she told me her job needed medical coders, and I applied. Getting hired took a while because I applied at the end of August but didn’t start until the 7th of this month. So, I am a coding analyst for a non-profit insurance company.
December 2022
Oh my – we made it to December! I honestly cannot believe how fast this year went. It feels like time goes by faster and faster as I get older. But I started this month performing poetry again. Once again, I was so nervous, but I’m so glad I did it! And I cannot wait to host my own poetry night. I went to a friend’s surprise birthday party and had an amazing time; I also got to meet her baby boy. 🙂 We put up the Christmas tree and attended Lia’s Christmas presentation. Lia and I went to my sister’s winter dance showcase (her last one since it’s her senior year); hopefully, I can make it to the one in the spring too. We took family pictures. And I was a vendor again at a 2nd-anniversary celebration for Femme Strong. It was a great celebration, and I connected with other amazing women business owners.
Alright, since this post is out today (December 19th), this is what we still have coming up:
Jayden’s first birthday
Christmas
New Year’s Eve
If you’ve read this far, thank you so much for your time, and I hope I’ve inspired you in some way or another. I pray that you and your loved ones have a Merry Christmas and a happy, prosperous new year. God Bless You Tremendously.
I was a mother of one for eight years, and I thought I knew everything I needed to know about babies, but really you are learning as you go. When the time was getting closer for my son to be born, I was getting anxious and nervous about certain things. I figured this was normal as I had never been a mom of two before. So, for my YouTube channel, I made a video addressing three things I worried about before becoming a mom of two. You can watch that video here. But I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago, and she expressed that she also had worries before becoming a mom of two, and I thought, why don’t I write a blog post in addition to my video? So, here it is.
The first thing that worried me was being able to divide my attention between two kids. I was so used to only having my daughter and setting time for us to have mommy-daughter time, but how would I do that now that a new baby was coming and would require so much of my time?
This worried me because I didn’t know how I would juggle the two, but what I did was I talked with my daughter. I told her that her baby brother would require so much time and attention because he couldn’t do anything alone. And I said to her that as a big sister, she would be able to help mommy out with the baby. She actually loved that. I set a time for us to hang out and make sure we have our own time together.
My Daughter Feeling Jealous or Left-Out
The second thing that worried me was my daughter feeling jealous or left out. Speaking to my daughter about how much time and attention her new brother would require also set up expectations of how things would be moving forward. This changed all our lives, so I wanted to ensure my daughter was prepared.
Before my son was born, I made sure that my daughter was doing a lot of things on her own; she’s very independent. She has her alarm in the morning, gets ready, picks out her clothes, eats breakfast, and makes lunch. But I still want her to know that I’m there for when she needs me and that I still loved her the same even though her brother was coming.
Would I Love Them Equally
The third thing I was worried about was how I would love them equally. Again, since I had not had another child, I couldn’t comprehend how I would love another child as much as I love my daughter. Now that my son is here, I can say that there is no loving them; equally, there is no loving one more than the other; it’s more that you love them differently. My son is different than my daughter, so my love for him is different, but it’s both just as intense, if that makes any sense.
My son is about to be a year old, and I’m so glad that these worries are beyond me, but they were very real before he was here just because of the unknown. But I’d love to hear from mommies of multiple kids; how did you feel before your second was born? What were your worries and concern?
Between August 2020 and March 2021 was a heavy grieving season for me. My grandfather went to heaven in August, I suffered a miscarriage in November, and my mother-in-law was called home to Jesus in March. Fortunately, if you can say that, this wasn’t my first season of grief; I learned the hardship of grief early in my life. At the young age of 23, my biological mother passed suddenly.
You don’t think about the passing of your mother. Although it’s impossible, you tend to think of her as immortal – someone who will always be there. That wasn’t the case for me. Everyone around me still had their mothers, so no one could understand my pain. They didn’t know the void in my chest that never leaves, the constant heaviness that hurt even to breathe, and they didn’t understand that a part of me died and I would never be the same. Actually – at the time, I didn’t know it either.
Since I had already endured the pain of losing a loved one, I thought I knew how this season of grief would be; however, I thought wrong. Each season is different because your relationship with each person is different. And losing a baby is another type of grief, but I’ll leave that story for another day. One difference in this season from the first was my relationship with God was stronger. So today, I want to share three things that helped me in my most recent season of grief.
One – Talking about my memories with my grandfather
My grandfather lived with us since I was 16 years old. We lived in a humble two-bedroom house; I slept in the living room while he slept in my room, so he was involved in many milestones of my life. For example, I took my driver’s test with his car. He helped me purchase my first car. He was present for my high school graduation. And when I was younger, I was told that he would go to a children’s boutique in the Dominican Republic to purchase a dress for me as a birthday gift. He did that for the first five years of my life. My mom would then get professional pictures taken of me in the dresses. To this day, I still have the pictures. So, sharing all these stories and memories with whoever would listen was helpful for me.
Two – Going on a trip to the beach
My husband’s birthday is August 13, and I planned a trip for us to Anna Maria Island. My grandfather passed on August 10 – just three days before the trip. I was so conflicted if we should continue with our plans. On the one hand, I wanted to celebrate my husband’s birthday, but then on the other, I didn’t want to seem insensitive to the situation. Since we couldn’t receive a full refund, we went for three instead of going for four days. And I am so glad we went. It’s hard to continue your day-to-day routine when your heart is so heavy, and this trip helped us get out of routine. It gave me time away from everyone to process my feelings and distract my mind for a few days. Also, I feel the closest to God at the beach, which was therapeutic for me.
Three – Staying rooted in God’s word
As I mentioned above, you can’t do business as usual when your heart is heavy. So, your schedule and routine are all messed up. However, in this season of grief, I was intentional about continuing my Bible reading. I continued my daily Bible plan and enjoyed reading the Bible at the beach. Listening to worship music while going through the miscarriage was comforting. And during my mother-in-law’s passing, I signed up for an online Bible Study; although I couldn’t log on to the calls, I continued to do the study, and it helped me stay mentally and emotionally stable.
These are things that helped me during my heavy season of grief. I know that everyone processes grief differently, and grief doesn’t look the same for everyone, but I hope my experience can help one person. And if you haven’t experienced grief, I hope you save this article and use it as a resource to help you during that difficult time.
I want to leave you with a Bible verse that came up multiple times during this season and reminded me that God was with me.
Psalms 147:3 NIV – “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
For Labor Day weekend, my family and I went to Miami!!!! We had not taken any trips this year, and it was our first trip as a family of four!
We rented an Airbnb right in Miami’s art district, so we were three minutes from Wynwood Walls. But before we headed over to the walls, we ate breakfast at Morgan’s Restaurant.
I had the avocado toast, and my cousin shared some of her chicken and waffles with me. Both were very good. This place has a good portion size, just not for the avocado toast. It is recommended to make a reservation prior because this place got packed as we were there.
Alright, now we head over to the Wynwood Walls. I purchased tickets in advance, but you don’t have to; art is inside and outside. Make sure to wear comfortable clothing and shoes because Miami gets HOT, depending on what time of year you decide to go.
One of the good things about Miami’s art district is that there are many restaurants and food trucks around to eat. When we first arrived in Miami, we ate dinner at El Tiesto Cafe, a Dominican-Japanese restaurant. We tried their sushi, and my husband left wanting more. Highly recommend this place. I cannot wait to return to Miami to eat here again.
The following day we went to the Miami’s Children Museum so the kids could play, mainly my daughter because my son is eight months old, but he ended up having fun too. The children’s museum has a ton of activities for kids. They have two stories of different rooms, so they have a space for construction, a bank, firefighter, police, a boat where kids can fish, a cruise ship, and a dance glow party. My daughter’s favorite part was the Publix supermarket. They have it set up where you can get groceries; the kids are the cashiers. The check-out computers have the items from the store, so the kids click on the things you choose, and then on the computer where you pay, it shows you the total. You then pick the bills and coins until you have paid the total amount, which I thought was a cool way to help kids learn about money.
After the museum, we headed to Dolphin Mall – Miami’s largest outlet shopping mall- and ate lunch at a Peruvian restaurant called Gran Inka Gastro Bar. I also recommend this restaurant. The food was so fresh and good. Then we did a little shopping. I have a sentimental feeling about Dolphin Mall because my mom used to take me there to go to Dave & Buster’s when I would visit her in the summer.
After the mall, we went to dinner at Havana 1957 Cuban Cuisine on Lincoln Road. I had been to the one in South Beach, but my husband had not tried this place before, and I wanted him to because I remember how good it was last time. It was just as good as the first time. I recommend this place to eat in Miami. After eating, we walked around Lincoln Road but didn’t do any shopping; we were over shopping.
This brings us to Monday; we had breakfast at Moise’s Bakery in Miami Beach. This place was recommended to me by my neighbor. The owners of Moise’s Bakery are from Venezuela, and the breakfast was very delicious. Unfortunately, I didn’t take pictures of my food, but we had Pan de Bono and another bread with ham inside that I don’t remember the name of right now.
On our way home, we drove by Aventura Mall, another mall my mom used to take me to, and we decided to go inside. Aventura Mall is the 5th largest mall in the United States and the largest mall in Florida. It has an art collection inside, which was cool to see. After walking around for a few hours and buying a few things, we headed home.
I cannot wait to continue to make memories like this with my little family.
With Love, Heidy
Have you been to any of these places? If so, what was your experience?
