Category: Poems

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Blog Poems

What Is Your Relationship With Silence? – A Poem

What is your relationship with Silence? 

Does it consume you? 

Or you run from it? If you run? Why? 

Have you sat down in complete Silence for 5 minutes? 

Where does your thoughts go? Do you control them? Or do they control you? 

Do you get scared of where your mind goes? 

Let it run free for 5 minutes, see where you start and where you finish. 

Write it down. Do memories you want to forget appear? Voices? People? Things you saw you wish you didn’t. 

What is your relationship with Silence? Not many people can handle Silence, which is why they avoid it. Always listening to something, music, podcast, shows, news, something.

Being comfortable with Silence is being comfortable with yourself. Your true self.

Are you running from yourself? 

You can only run for so long. Two people you cannot lie to, is yourself and God. 

What is your relationship with Silence?

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels.com

With Love, Heidy

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Blog Poems

Losing You – A Poem

Photo by Irina Anastasiu on Pexels.com

Is this a dream?

Or are you really not here?

It feels like a nightmare – nothing feels real.

Is it true I won’t hear your voice again?

Unless it’s a recording.

I won’t see your face in the flesh, pictures are all that’s left.

No more touch of your skin or smell of your scent.

No more laughing till our stomachs hurt, all the jokes left unsaid.

Grief came too soon, no one prepares you for this.

The empty feeling came with your departure

and now it’s never leaving.

I’ll trade anything in the world for one more day with you.

But they said you’re in a better place now.

And that will have to do.

With Love, Heidy

Let’s Connect!

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Like this post? Subscribe with your email to receive my free 5 minute journal prompts and weekly newsletters on my upcoming posts! 🙂

Check out my new Etsy shop! https://www.etsy.com/shop/WithLoveHeidy

Journals for sale!

You can get one or all of my journals on Amazon! Links are below! 🙂
My Prayer Journal  Into My Thoughts Journal Gratitude Journal

My poetry book – Words from the Heart available now!

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Poems

Mommy Issues

Sitting here drinking my third glass of wine – while thinking maybe I am more like my mother.

Drinking away my sorrows, pain and regrets.

Instead of facing my demons head-on.

I’ve always stride myself to not be like her.

But they say, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” right?

It’s like you were my example of what not to be.

I understand your mental issues NOW – but now it’s too late, you’re gone.

As a child you don’t understand. You don’t comprehend why your mother drinks for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

By the time the moon is out she can barely walk.

She’s yelling and breaking things – cutting herself and slurring her words.

What? What are you saying? You don’t make sense?

So, what do you do?

You start to cry and hope that tomorrow is a better day – but it’s a repeat of yesterday and the day before.

Many have daddy issues. I have mommy issues.

The bible tells us to honor our father and mother.

But how do you honor the person who’s supposed to make you feel safe but instead causes so much pain and anxiety?

It’s conflicting!

No matter what – I love you.

You did the best you could drowning your demons in alcohol. Although, they swam up to the surface at night.

It was too much too bare for little me, for the both of us.

Which is why I swore to never be like you.

I told myself I would never drink.

Alcohol steals the joy.

It steals the good memories.

It robs you of feeling safe and secure – it makes you scared and unsure.

Alcohol is the enemy – it turned you into a monster.

But here I am drowning in that monster.

Am I more like you and less like me?

Many have daddy issues. I have mommy issues.

P.S. Happy what would have been your 47th birthday. I love you.

Let’s Connect!

Twitter.com/HeidyReynoso13

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Instagram.com/Heidy.Delacruz13

Facebook.com/Heidyreynoso13

Like this post? Subscribe with your email to receive my free 5 minute journal prompts and weekly newsletters on my upcoming posts! 🙂

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Blog Poems

Lies I Tell Myself

Lies I tell myself

I blame myself that we didn’t have the happy ending of the movies.

I tell myself I’m not that pretty and that is why you stepped out to find prettier.

It’s my fault, I didn’t cook enough, didn’t pay enough attention.

I should have laughed more.

I should have been freakier.

I should have argued less and demanded less.

I should have loved more.

I should have dressed better.

Maybe if I would have spend less.

Maybe be at home more – not too many girls night.

I should have had more interests in your interests.

Maybe If I would have listened more and catered more you wouldn’t have stepped out to be with them.

The truths I should tell myself

I am enough.

I am beautiful.

I am worthy.

It wasn’t my fault.

I don’t need to change myself to prevent it.

I did my best.

I gave my all.

I don’t need to compare.

I can do better.

I will do better.

I deserve better.

Although my heart is in pieces, my soul is crushed and my ego is torn, I will dust myself off and get up again. I will no longer, give the power to someone else to destroy me.

Photo by Dave Drost on Pexels.com

I write about betrayal often because it’s something I’m very familiar with and pain runs deep inside. But that wasn’t my whole story, just part of it. I overcame the hurt and pain. I stood victorious on the other side of the door; after years of being in the dark, I found happiness. I found peace and joy. And I write to tell you that if you also have been in a similar situation (which unfortunately is so common), you too can overcome it. I only ask that you don’t let the bitterness that comes with this pain rotten your heart.

It’s easy to stay mad and to pity in your pain and hurt. Easy to stay drowning in the betrayal because it’s overbearing, but don’t stay in that place. You are worthy of so much more. As long as you have a pulse, you are worthy! I am here to say that God has so much more for your life. This is just a phase; it’s, unfortunately, a chapter in your book but not the whole book. Start writing chapter one of a new book! Burn the old one; I know you can. If I can do it, you can do it. You are loved, you are worthy, and you are powerful. Remind yourself every single day!

With Love,

Heidy

Twitter.com/HeidyReynoso13

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Blog Poems

Old Love Returns

They started dating four years post-break-up.

It was a serious relationship.

Lasted about 5 years.

She thought he was the one.

He thought she was the one, but it didn’t work.

She was heartbroken for a while.

Wouldn’t date.

Wouldn’t try until she met someone else who reminded her of him.

He was just like him, and she loved it.

But of course, it wasn’t him, so it wasn’t the same.

She couldn’t have him back, so why not settle for one similar, there is no harm in that?

Or so she thought.

Everything was going good, so good, after 3 years he asked her to marry.

She said, yes!

Her ex had already moved on, married.

It was her turn.

They married.

Bought a house.

Got a dog.

She got promoted at work the following year.

Everything was perfect. Or was it?

Her heart wasn’t fully in it.

She was living in the past.

Reliving moments with him.

Dreaming of him.

Longing to be in his arms again.

This isn’t fair to her husband.

She hated herself.

He noticed a change around 2 years into the marriage.

She was distant.

Not talkative.

He tried everything to please her.

Make her happy.

Bought her everything.

He suggested marriage counseling.

She refused.

He wanted to expand the family.

She suggested another dog.

He wanted a baby.

She didn’t.

One afternoon she got a phone call from a random number.

Hello.

She froze.

She couldn’t believe she heard his voice again.

Hi, she barely replied.

It’s been so long, how are you?

I’m good. How are you?

I’m fine.

Listen, I was wondering if we could meet up for lunch sometime.

She accepted the invitation.

They met up for lunch the following week.

It felt like old times.

She felt like a teenager.

She forgot how that felt.

He told her he was getting divorced.

 He had no kids.

And he wanted to see how she was doing.

She wasn’t doing as well as everyone thought; she was transparent with him.

He told her he wanted to see her again.

She agreed.

These lunches went on for weeks.

Until she told her husband, she wanted a divorce.

He was surprised but at the same time knew it was coming soon.

He asked for one more chance.

She moved into the guest room.

During one of the secret lunches, she mentioned the divorce.

Now, we can be together like old times.

He told her that he was working things out with his wife.

This would be the last lunch.

She decided to follow through with her divorce.

She wasn’t happy.

She needed to find happiness.

Alone.

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Poems

Your Departure/To My Grandfather


There is an emptiness – deep inside.

A void unfillable since your departure.

Your voice is gone.

Your laughter no longer echos.

The warmth of your skin no longer felt against my hands.

All I have are memories.

But I need your presence.

Did we have enough time?

To share – to live – to love.

Wanting you here is selfish when you’re in a better place now.

So this isn’t a goodbye – this is a see you later.

Rest in Peace – Papa

An honorable and righteous man you were. Honest and ethical man were the words from your coworkers. What a privilege it is to know my grandfather was respected and admired by many, all over. Near and far your life impacted many. You were a good friend, father, husband, mentor, and grandfather. Even great-grandfather. You were the definition of a leader. A man of few words but honorable actions. I am proud to be your granddaughter. I would like to follow through with my words just like you did. I would like to be remembered just like you. With honor, respect, admiration, and righteous. I love you and I miss you so much. Your granddaughter, Heidy.

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Blog Poems

The time is NOW for REAL change America!

You are blocking progression with your shade of hatred
Because you were told that they are less than you
But who’s really less than who? Cuts all bleed the same color
Actions are not based on color
Its based on thoughts, that are taught
Generation after generations living in fear
Living with anxiety
Living with worry
Uncertainty that once they walk out the front door they might not come back
Do you live with that fear?
Do you live with the fear of your son or daughter being shot by a police officer just because of the color of their skin?
Did you have to train them for when they get pulled over to make sure their hands are always visible because there is a chance they might get shot because the cop THINKS they have a gun?
You don’t have to change your name on your resume so you can get a call back on a job you’re OVER QUALIFIED for.
You don’t have to worry about getting rejected from school
And you can drive whatever car you want without having others think it was stolen or that you got from illegal activities
You see, there are two types of people living in America
The privileged – who can walk right up to capital hill with their AK-47 and no one flinches a hair
But then you have the oppressed – who for 400 years have been fighting for freedom and basic human rights
The pot has spilled over
The injustice has been going on for far too long
Time is up!
Time is up for the bigotry
The white supremacy
The prejudice
The racial slurs
If you cannot see the pain, the fear, or the exhaustion, then you have no heart or brain. You’re full of ignorance refusing to learn and be uncomfortable.
The time is NOW for REAL change America.

Picture from Pinterest

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Blog Poems

The One That Got Away

I was meeting my girlfriends for dinner on a random Friday night. 

We were waiting to be seated when through the crowd, our eyes met. 

I instantly got that fire deep inside – same one I got the first time we met five years ago. 

I couldn’t believe my eyes, but there you were walking towards me, looking exactly the same since the last time I’d seen you. 

I told my girls excuse me, and I automatically started walking towards you without giving it a second thought. 

You gave me a hug and told me it is such a pleasure to see me. And there I was speechless. 

Why, after all these years, you still had that effect on me?

I felt the butterflies again and flushed in the face as you gave me that look. That same look, you always did many moons ago. 

You noticed the ring on my left hand and said you knew someone wouldn’t be stupid enough to let me go. 

You told me you’ve been busy traveling for work to settle down and was here on a business trip. 

As we exchanged words, the world stood still. 

You gave me a kiss on the cheek before turning to walk away, I felt the spark.

And smelled the very familiar scent that was once my favorite. 

You whispered – I would steal a kiss, but those lips are now forbidden. 

 

You always see on movies or series that there is that one that got away. And when the ex-lovers are reunited, the fire is still there and like time hasn’t passed. Always something there, especially if the break-up wasn’t a bad one. Which is why it’s hard to believe that exes can remain friends. What do you think? Can ex-lovers still remain friends and be “just friends?” Let me know your thoughts.

bonfire under crescent moon in the sky
Photo by Lucas França on Pexels.com

 

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Pain of Betrayal

One of the biggest pain is the pain of betrayal. I hope you never experience that pain. I hope you never have to lose the trust of the one you love. The one you least expected to hurt you. I hope you never have to experience the confirmation of the unfaithfulness. The vomit in your mouth – the turn of your stomach, the punch in your throat – the anger and fire through your vain – the tears flowing like a river and the sharp stab right through your chest – feels like your heart has been ripped out of your body and stomped into a million pieces. I hope you never have to see him on his knees begging for forgiveness and all you want to do is spit on him.

I hope you never have to debate whether to leave or stay. I hope you never have to question whether you’re worth it because you’re always worth it. I hope you never have to think you’re not worthy of love, of happiness, of faithfulness. I hope you never have to go back in your mind and replay the trauma like a broken record. I hope you never experience the triggers – then you’re back to being hurt all over again – the wounds reopened. Bleeding again like the very first time.

I hope you never have to walk around with doubt in your mind. Thinking this was all your fault. I hope you never have to go on social media and see comments, wondering if she was one of them too. I hope you never have to compare yourself to them. Thinking –  what do they have that you don’t have. I hope you never have to fight for his attention. And I hope you never have to pretend that you’re happy when you’re slowly dying inside. I hope you never experience this type of betrayal. I hope you never experience this type of pain. No one deserves this.

abstract break broken broken glass
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Categories
Poems

The person God has for you

God has a person for you that isn’t perfect but is perfect for you. God has a person that will treat you just as you deserve – like royalty. God has a person for you that will make you laugh, the person will listen to you and support your dreams. God has a person for you that will comfort you and will be there on the hardest days. God has a person for you that will become your best friend. A person who is compassionate, understanding, and gentle. God has a person for you that will love you unconditionally, will accept you as you are, and won’t try to change you. God has a person who will pray for you and with you. God has a person who will draw you closer to him – never away. God has a person who will be patient, build you up, and have a positive influence in your life. God has a person just for you. Be patient – never settle. God’s timing is always perfect.