Lies I tell myself
I blame myself that we didn’t have the happy ending of the movies.
I tell myself I’m not that pretty and that is why you stepped out to find prettier.
It’s my fault, I didn’t cook enough, didn’t pay enough attention.
I should have laughed more.
I should have been freakier.
I should have argued less and demanded less.
I should have loved more.
I should have dressed better.
Maybe if I would have spend less.
Maybe be at home more – not too many girls night.
I should have had more interests in your interests.
Maybe If I would have listened more and catered more you wouldn’t have stepped out to be with them.
The truths I should tell myself
I am enough.
I am beautiful.
I am worthy.
It wasn’t my fault.
I don’t need to change myself to prevent it.
I did my best.
I gave my all.
I don’t need to compare.
I can do better.
I will do better.
I deserve better.
Although my heart is in pieces, my soul is crushed and my ego is torn, I will dust myself off and get up again. I will no longer, give the power to someone else to destroy me.
I write about betrayal often because it’s something I’m very familiar with and pain runs deep inside. But that wasn’t my whole story, just part of it. I overcame the hurt and pain. I stood victorious on the other side of the door; after years of being in the dark, I found happiness. I found peace and joy. And I write to tell you that if you also have been in a similar situation (which unfortunately is so common), you too can overcome it. I only ask that you don’t let the bitterness that comes with this pain rotten your heart.
It’s easy to stay mad and to pity in your pain and hurt. Easy to stay drowning in the betrayal because it’s overbearing, but don’t stay in that place. You are worthy of so much more. As long as you have a pulse, you are worthy! I am here to say that God has so much more for your life. This is just a phase; it’s, unfortunately, a chapter in your book but not the whole book. Start writing chapter one of a new book! Burn the old one; I know you can. If I can do it, you can do it. You are loved, you are worthy, and you are powerful. Remind yourself every single day!
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