They say that no two pregnancies are the same, and boy, they were not kidding. I’ve struggled a lot, physically and mentally, with this pregnancy compared to when I was pregnant with my daughter. Let me say pregnancy is hard! Shout out to all the mamas with multiple kids; my hat goes off to you. I know that not everyone experiences pregnancy the same but still, I salute all the moms.
With my daughter’s pregnancy, I went through a lot, but it was all outside factors; nothing, health wise came up during the pregnancy. Thanks, God. And you can read all about it, here. But this pregnancy was completely different, (which gave me the first hint that it was a boy). First, this pregnancy was planned, so I knew I was pregnant before symptoms started. Symptoms started around week six, morning sickness, but it would last all day, throwing up (I even ended up in the hospital once from throwing up so much), I felt weak, and when I would eat, my stomach would hurt shortly after. I slept a lot because I was miserable all the time.
I couldn’t eat salmon anymore, and certain smells bothered me. I cried multiple times because of how miserable I felt, and I also felt like I was slipping into depression. I was not motivated to do anything, all I wanted to do was sleep, but I think it was because of how sick I was. I felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. Whatever symptom the baby app would tell me I was going to experience that week, I would. I was counting down the days for the second trimester, which was when morning sickness subside.
I also felt guilt. Guilt because I couldn’t cook, certain smells were a bother, I couldn’t clean, I felt like a lousy mom because my daughter also needed me. My husband picked up a lot of my slack during these months. The guilt was coming from myself my husband never made me feel bad; he just kept reminding me that this was all temporary.
Fast forward to the second trimester. I am no longer as sick, and I say as sick because I’ll still get nauseous from time to time. But my struggle with this trimester was seeing my body change so much and feel like I didn’t recognize myself. I had already gained weight last year during quarantine, but now being pregnant, of course, I’m going to continue to gain. I look in the mirror and see that my thighs are enormous, my arms are massive, I feel like my face is huge, especially when I smile. I have stretch marks EVERYWHERE, oh and I almost forgot, my boobs are disgusting. I know, I know, my body is creating a miracle, but this is how I feel.
Along with all this, I’ve had a UTI, which showed no symptoms, so it caught me off guard when my OB sent antibiotics, I have low iron, so I must take supplements every day, and I was diagnoses with gestational diabetes. This puts me in the high-risk pregnancy category. You can see the video on how I found out about the diagnosis on my YouTube channel.
I am VERY grateful to be carrying my rainbow baby, do not get me wrong, but pregnancy is no walk in the park. Creating a human is hard, and this is a way for me to express my struggles. I thank God every day for my baby, and I continue to pray for a healthy baby, delivery, and speedy recovery (feel free to join me in prayer). Hearing other women’s pregnancy stories lets me know I’m not alone in this struggle and adjusting to all the changes we endure during this time is challenging. I want to end this by saying women are amazing!! 🙂
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