November 2020

To my lovely daughter,

How time has flown. You are on the verge of turning seven years young, and my goodness, has this came quickly.

You are such an inquisitive child. I cannot give you vague answers. You won’t accept it; you need details and need to understand.

Right now, some questions you ask, I cannot give you too many details because your child mind won’t comprehend, but I promise always to answer you with the truth.

You are smart, and sometimes it surprises me how you can put things together and come up with your own conclusions that make perfect sense.

Watching you grow is such a blessing and knowing that God chose me to be your mother is something I thank Him for every day.

You love to sing, dance, create, draw and talk. Oh my, do you love to talk! My father says I was the same way, and I remember talking quite often when I was little. And you make me laugh all the time. Your facial expressions are priceless, and your comments are witty.

I see you doing great things in your life as you grow because of the way you think. So curious about everything.

I love seeing you love God, I love seeing you talk about God, and I love your kindness. Choose love always. I pray that your soul stays pure, and your heart stays loving.

I promise to model the best example of a God-fearing woman for you. Be the best example I can be, so in your life, you choose to follow Jesus.

Thank you for showing me what unconditional love is and for being the most amazing daughter ever.

Please know that I will be here for you no matter what. I don’t ever want you to fear telling me anything, as long as you’re being honest. I’ve told you many times; I will be angrier if you lie to me about what you did than about what you actually did. I cannot help you if I don’t know the truth.

I promise to speak love and life into you. I promise to encourage you, choose kind and gentle words, and I promise to be your biggest cheerleader.

Please know you are worthy, you are valued, and you are loved. I’ll always remind you that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

I’m looking forward to seeing you grow and see the wonderful person you’ll become.

I’ll be with you every step of the way.

I love you to the moon and back.

Love always,

Mami

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Old Love Returns

They started dating four years post-break-up.

It was a serious relationship.

Lasted about 5 years.

She thought he was the one.

He thought she was the one, but it didn’t work.

She was heartbroken for a while.

Wouldn’t date.

Wouldn’t try until she met someone else who reminded her of him.

He was just like him, and she loved it.

But of course, it wasn’t him, so it wasn’t the same.

She couldn’t have him back, so why not settle for one similar, there is no harm in that?

Or so she thought.

Everything was going good, so good, after 3 years he asked her to marry.

She said, yes!

Her ex had already moved on, married.

It was her turn.

They married.

Bought a house.

Got a dog.

She got promoted at work the following year.

Everything was perfect. Or was it?

Her heart wasn’t fully in it.

She was living in the past.

Reliving moments with him.

Dreaming of him.

Longing to be in his arms again.

This isn’t fair to her husband.

She hated herself.

He noticed a change around 2 years into the marriage.

She was distant.

Not talkative.

He tried everything to please her.

Make her happy.

Bought her everything.

He suggested marriage counseling.

She refused.

He wanted to expand the family.

She suggested another dog.

He wanted a baby.

She didn’t.

One afternoon she got a phone call from a random number.

Hello.

She froze.

She couldn’t believe she heard his voice again.

Hi, she barely replied.

It’s been so long, how are you?

I’m good. How are you?

I’m fine.

Listen, I was wondering if we could meet up for lunch sometime.

She accepted the invitation.

They met up for lunch the following week.

It felt like old times.

She felt like a teenager.

She forgot how that felt.

He told her he was getting divorced.

He had no kids.

And he wanted to see how she was doing.

She wasn’t doing as well as everyone thought; she was transparent with him.

He told her he wanted to see her again.

She agreed.

These lunches went on for weeks.

Until she told her husband, she wanted a divorce.

He was surprised but at the same time knew it was coming soon.

He asked for one more chance.

She moved into the guest room.

During one of the secret lunches, she mentioned the divorce.

Now, we can be together like old times.

He told her that he was working things out with his wife.

This would be the last lunch.

She decided to follow through with her divorce.

She wasn’t happy.

She needed to find happiness.

Alone.

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