The worst thing you can do for your marriage is compare it to other people’s marriages!
People are different, personalities are different, you don’t know what their spouse likes or doesn’t like. You don’t know their dynamics. You don’t know how long it took them to get where they are or the struggles they’ve been through.
What works for them will not work for you. You are not married to their spouse you are married to your spouse. Talk to your spouse about what they want, like, or desire, talk to your spouse, and see how you can be a better spouse. But be willing to listen. I mean, really listen. Not listen to respond but listen to receive, to understand, to comprehend where they are coming from.
Talk to God and ask Him to reveal how you can be a better spouse for your significant other. Pray for your spouse.
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16 NIV
Watch how God transforms your spouse, you, and your marriage as you seek Him in your marriage.
Marriage is between two people. Not two people and their friends, and friends of friends, and their family, and their long lost cousin, NO! Marriage is between you and your spouse.
If you need advice, seek advice but be intentional on who you ask for advice. Seek it from a couple who you look up to, who you can tell they have a strong connection and have it together because not everyone wants to give advice, some just want to be nosey.
Also, seek it from someone you know has your best interest at heart. A couple who you know will be genuine and honest. But don’t compare your marriage to theirs because, again, those are two different individuals to you and your spouse.
“Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end, you will be counted among the wise.” Proverbs 19:20 NIV
My best advice is to seek guidance from God. Only He knows both of you from inside out, only He knows each of your hearts, and He can guide you on how to overcome challenges together, instead of against each other.
You are a team and God is your coach.
Your marriage will not flourish if you keep comparing it to Maria and Jose’s marriage or Sally and John’s, because those are different marriages, different people, and different situations. Even your parents marriage, don’t compare it!
Keep your focus on God and your spouse and see what works for you guys. If something isn’t working out then change it and try something else, but find what works for you and your spouse.
With Love, Heidy
Do you have any questions?
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